Moving! and One Year Anniversary!

Me: We're moving again!
You: Eh? I don't hear so good outta that ear. It sounded like you said you're moving again. Not possible.
Me: Yes. Again.
You:

Whaaaaat???

Yep, that's the face I made, too. Another move??? We just got here a year ago! And we moved to DC a year before that! Ok, ok, don't get any ideas. We're not leaving Korea just yet. We're only moving about a mile away. Our original reason for thinking about switching homes (a possible change in Marc's job) has already changed from when the idea first came up, but all the other reasons are still there and, I think, good enough to take on the blood, sweat and tears of another move.

Just in case you haven't heard about this a sufficient number of times, now would be when I talk about the other six addresses we've had in the past eight years. This new place will be number eight in just shy of nine years. Toby will have lived in 6 different homes before his sixth birthday! You'd think we enjoyed moving, but it's not that at all. Every move has been necessary (to our minds anyway) because of some job or other situation. In DC we moved to another place directly across the street nine months after arriving. It was a pain but I'm so glad we did it. I didn't regret it for one second. Once again, this move seems to be the right thing to do. This is our life right now. We move more than the Army families we're surrounded by.

We're leaving our sort of American-style, McMansion neighborhood of single-family homes to an apartment complex of four buildings. It's pretty popular with other Americans around here, and Korean families live there, too. We actually looked at a unit there when we first arrived last year. At the time, it was a little too...shall we say Ko-Ko-Korean for me? The dark, cold outer hallways, the rice paper on certain doors, the ornate fixtures and crazy wallpaper - it was too much "different" all at once. But now, a year later, I get it, it doesn't bother me, and I can see the other benefits of living there. I could kick myself for not picking that unit a year ago because maybe it could have saved us this move, but as much as I like to torture myself, I just didn't know. This is the issue we deal with whenever we move to a new area. We don't know what we don't know. This was the situation in DC. We moved, site unseen, to a town home because we were living in LA at the time, and the place ended up being filthy and disgusting owned by a horrible, careless man. How could we have known that? So we moved across the street and everything was better. A year ago I didn't know that this apartment was in walking distance to so many great places or that it had a huge playground and dozens of other kids who live there. So much is learned about an area by actually living there for several months, talking to people and figuring things out. I really like our house, but there is nothing to walk to, no playgrounds, only one other child and its too much space for us. If we're going to be here for another two years, we might as well start over in a place we think is better. With Numero Three coming in May I need more options for activities with the boys and it would be great to be able to step out our front door and have a playground full of kids and other places to walk to.

Things I'm looking forward to:
No stairs! The new place is one level. Whewww! Again, Numero Three, not to mention the safety factor.
Simplifying. Again. Numero. Three.
Walkability. It's close to the town, the jumpy houses that we frequent, restaurants, parks, etc.
The fabulous playground and bike paths at the complex.
There are lots of other kids who live there, American and Korean. Right now we only have one girl in our neighborhood. We love her and will miss being neighbors, but the boys could use more friends close by.
It's still really close to the Army base where we spend a lot of time.
Less space to clean and it forces us to be more organized rather than spread out.
Hopefully making friends with our new neighbors and getting together for dinners, play dates or just helping each other out.

Things I will miss from our current crib:
It's beautiful. The inside anyway. I haven't seen any other house around here with nicer fixtures, finishes and minimal decor. Everything is neutral, simple and modern, which is almost impossible to find here. The apartment, though not nearly as ornate as some I've seen, does have some questionable drapes, wallpaper and crystal teardrop sconces that I could really do without, but will try to ignore.
We have tons of storage space. Maybe too much.
My enormous kitchen and walk-in pantry :(
It feels like home because its the first place we've lived here.
It's nice having a garage and being able to park at our front door. At the new place we will have to park in a parking garage and take an elevator, which is a lot less convenient with kids and all the stuff we'll have to bring up and down, probably in multiple trips.
Being able to send Toby outside to play by himself or with his friend next door. It's wonderful.
The neighborhoody feel, especially in the summer.

I'm sure that once we get settled in to the apartment I'll find more things that I really like about it and more things I miss about our house. There are definitely going to be some pluses and minuses.

My favorite part about moving, although it's a lot of work, is getting rid of unwanted junk. By now, you'd think we'd be professional minimalists, but somehow we always have more stuff to get rid of. At our new place we won't have nearly the amount of storage space as we do now, so we really have to condense. My least favorite part about moving? All the miscellaneous stuff that you still need but don't know where to put. There is always a box of this stuff that sits around for weeks until you can find a home for everything.

Of course I don't really know, but I hope we're doing the right thing. I do think about how all this moving is affecting the boys, but, fortunately, I think they're still at an age where home is wherever Mom, Dad and their toys are. To them, moving into a new place feels like a fun adventure, like staying at a hotel until it feels like home. And at least this time only the house is changing. School, activities and friends will remain the same. I do hope that we get to a point in our lives where we're not moving so often, like once the boys are in grade school and making real friendships based on more than the fact that some other kid is also wearing a Superman shirt. It would be really nice to live somewhere of our choosing (not solely for job location) and lay down some roots. I can hardly imagine.

Luckily we'll have movers to help pack and move us, but there is still a lot of work to be done. Wish me luck with the sorting, cleaning, reorganizing and settling into Home #8 while prego with two boys in the middle of Winter. It's just another day in the life...

Speaking of just another day...TODAY IS OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! I cannot BELIEVE we've been here for a whole year! It's gone by so quickly and we've discovered so much about this very different world that we live in. I'm really glad that the first part is over. The first month was brutal, I hated it and I remember the dreadful feelings very clearly. I couldn't imagine having to stay here. But a year has already passed and we've made friends, the boys have nice things to do, we have a good life and there is still so much more to discover in Korea. Besides doing really well at work, Marc has made a huge effort to learn Hangul. He can sound out the letters and knows a lot of phrases. I can still only say the same three phrases I knew when we arrived, but of course I haven't made any effort whatsoever. And here I'm supposed to be the linguaphile in this relationship! I don't know...Hangul isn't really "my bag". I do have to give myself some credit though. As someone who is exceedingly impaired when it comes to way-finding, I have managed to get around near and far without a GPS or being able to read any street signs and without getting permanently lost. I've also carved out a nice family life and tried to make the best of our current scenario which is by far the most different from anywhere I've ever lived. (Self pat on back) I have no idea how much longer we'll be here or any idea where we're going next, but for now, this is working out pretty well. Cheers!

My Parents in Korea

On Christmas Day my parents flew across the Pacific to visit us here in lil' ol' Pyeongtaek, S.K. and Marc drove up to Incheon to retrieve them. Actual Christmas Day was just another day for us since we wanted to wait to all be together for the gift-opening explosion. Let me tell you, this was a long day with the boys anticipating their arrival. They've only asked me about it every day for the last three months. The reception was just as I expected - giggles, squealing, Toby talking a mile-a-minute, and lots of hugging and kissing.

Reunited!

Inspecting the robot monster pajamas before bed.

The next day we hung out, let the folks rest, did some baking, last minute wrapping and this stuff...

Cozy reading with Nonny

This is always a big favorite. Papa Bob lays down, then one of the boys lays on top of him and they pretend to sleep. (Muther is napping on the couch)

This is the big favorite with Nonny - cozy, cocoa-sipping under a blanket.

Friday was our Christmas morning! We managed to sleep in to a decent hour then came downstairs to see what Santa brought. Toby kept asking if Santa comes to Korea and how he would get in since we don't have a chimney. I told him of course he does and that I'd leave the back door cracked, which I did. Christmas was a wild success! The boys got so many nice things that they really love and are still playing with two whole weeks later. Can you believe it?

We even had a blazing fire cracklin' on the TV

"This one spells T-O-B-Y!"

Trying on his toe socks

Matching Spider Man jammies. What could be more thrilling?!

Toby has a Buzz Lightyear and Jonah got Woody.

We spent the day playing with the new toys and cooking. That evening our sweet neighbors came over for a belated Christmas Dinner.

BRAG ALERT! I just have to say that my parents are seriously geniuses with the boys. As soon as they get together, my parents transform into child-whisperers and completely take over the entertainment, well-being, feeding and sleeping of the boys. I wouldn't have to lift a finger or ever get out of bed if I didn't want to. My Dad is up at the crack of dawn every day to receive any child that decides to get up early and trot downstairs. The very next day after they arrived my mom started potty training Jonah.** Oh, believe me, I tried! We have read books, tried on undies, discussed the benefits of dryness, sat on the pot and observed the older brother for months, all to no avail. Then my mom swoops in one day, tells him the plan and he just does it. I'm not kidding, the child was trained in less than 24 hours for both #1 AND #2. Night time training has had a few set backs but full daytime training and only one diaper per 24 hours is more than I ever expected. In the first two weeks he's only had two accidents, but both were totally understandable and my fault for not checking in with him soon enough. Who's a big boy wearing underpants??

THIS KID!

I don't know if it was the first or second full day they were here, but my mom took both boys upstairs and somehow got both of them to sleep in the same bed within 5 minutes. When I've tried that, it's nothing but poking, yelling, fighting and laughing and no sleeping. She said she just touched their faces and they went out like lights. WHAT??? The only explanation is Nonny Magic.

Papa Bob also possesses magical powers. He gets down on the floor, lets the boys climb all over him, and shows them fascinating YouTube videos of space shuttles taking off and baby elephants splashing in the water. He also speaks Kid. He knows what to say and how to say it to really communicate on their level and make them laugh and feel big and important. He's always had this special power with kids. He takes a sincere interest in them and they flock to him.

Mini-Bob?

There's no such thing as too much lovin'! (Poor Muther is still snoozing on the couch)

Stickers with Nonny. So sweet.

As I said, I wouldn't have to lift a finger if I didn't want to. They can and would take over everything from bathing, feeding, napping, entertainment and even cooking and cleaning. They roll up their sleeves and just get right into it. It's such a great feeling leaving the house and not having one single concern about them knowing what to do or something going wrong. My boys are truly lucky to have grandparents like these! And Marc and I get a nice break, too. We scheduled all sorts of appointments because we finally had babysitters!

Nothing relaxes me more than someone playing with my hair. Thanks, Mom!

Despite the cold weather, we got out and did a few fun things. We took them to our favorite restaurant, Hwa Hwa, where they had a sampling of Korean BBQ. We went to a traditional village where people still live and work, a pro volleyball game and also to a Buddhist Temple. Even our local grocery/department store, Lotte Mart, was a unique cultural experience.

Hwa Hwa. Its chaotic dining but soooo good.

Gakwonsa Temple

At the outdoor market trying the Cinnamon Pancake of Insanity

This wasn't the only time that a gaggle of Korean kids swarmed around my Dad. They wanted to know where he was from and practice their English. So cute.

A freezing rice paddy walk with the neighbors.

At Toby's first basketball practice.

Our days were mostly filled with just hanging around and enjoying each other's company. I got some naps, we made nice dinners together, and the boys got to spend a lot of quality time with their grandparents - something they don't get to do very often.

Saying goodbye at the bus station.

Come back soon!!

**Muther will be offering her "Potty Training in 24 Hours" seminar in most major cities! Call 888-GO-POTTY for tickets and information!!

Oh, Balls!

Numero Three Update

Last weekend Marc and I drove up to Seoul for my 21 week ultrasound to check if the babe is growing, healthy, etc. The boys stayed with my parents who are in town for a few weeks - yea! The ultrasound went along as normal with the tech taking measurements and making comments. At one point I thought I saw something suspicious betwixt the legs, but told myself it could just be the umbilical cord or who knows what. Then she asked that fateful question: Did we want to know the gender. I think I already knew but it wasn't yet confirmed. As I said in my last post, I was planning on waiting for the birth, but I looked at Marc, who really wanted to know, and the anticipation of being able to find out right then was too overwhelming so I caved in. She looked at me and said, "It's a boy!"

My eyes widened and right away I muttered something like, "Oh my goodness, three boys. Wow." I was stunned. I kind of figured all along it would be a boy but I really, really had myself believing that maybe, just maybe, I would hear the shocking, surprising, incredible news that its actually a GIRL! When she was all done we walked out to the waiting room to wait for the doctor and I will shamefully admit that I cried seventeen tears. I had this vision built up that my boys would get a sister and she would have two doting older brothers and Marc and I would get a daughter and there would be pigtails and striped tights and squeaky giggles. Instead, I had the exact feeling I was worried about and why I wanted to wait until the birth.

PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG. I am SO grateful that Numero Three looks good and is growing and that we've been given the gift of a third child. That is more important and wonderful than anything. And I know for a fact that he will be loved as much as I love my boys to the point that my heart could explode. I was just kinda sorta hoping for a shift in family dynamics, ya know? I wanted my boys to grow up with a sister so that they could be more sensitive and understanding to the mysterious ways of women. I really feel like a daughter would be good for Marc. I wanted to meet and know and see my girl. She would have been called Greta. She was not to be.

BUT... there will be balls! And more balls! And cars and trucks and sports and wrestling on the floor and underwear dances and dirt and destruction and more balls and sword fighting and stinky feet. Our house will be full of noise and life, which is such a blessing. I'm not all into enforcing "gender roles" and I'm totally cool with whatever and whomever my boys grow up to be. I encourage all kinds of play including things that are considered more "girly" and I'm so tickled when they play kitchen and dolls and dress-up and when Toby wants to make me look pretty by brushing my hair and putting chapstick on me, but the likelihood is that there will just be a lot of balls, sports that I don't understand, and chaos. If Grandma Dori could see me now! She love, love, loved telling everyone about her THREE SONS. This is my destiny. She and I are alike in more ways than one - three sons and lots of moving around!

So that's the news! Almost a week later, I think I'm pretty well over the shock. This sweet boy will be at least the fourth or fifth child to wear all the clothes we have, or what threads are left of them, since they were already hand-me-downs when Toby wore them. I won't need to buy one single thing until he's a teenager. We're totally equipped, clothing- and toy-wise, for Male Numero Three. Whether we're equipped to handle three boys is yet to be determined. I can't wait to see his precious face and get to know him. His big brothers are going to love and adore him and take such good care of him. I know it! Jonah likes to tell me, "I be'd happy to baby." That's Jonah for "I don't intend to harm the wee one...much."

Now for a solid name...