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| Photo by Racheal White |
The time has come to say goodbye to Korea. Its a surreal feeling because on one hand it feels like time has flown by, but when I read my very first blog entry it feels like ages ago. Now I have those same feelings, but about leaving Korea and going to Germany.
Here's the last line from my very first blog post...
I have a (hopeful) feeling that living in Korea will prove to be much better than I think and that our experiences there will turn my neutrality toward Asian culture into deep admiration and appreciation. If nothing else, at least I know they have really great food!
I'm so happy to say that all that came true. Where do I even begin with how I feel about leaving Korea? I remember so clearly arriving here and thinking, "You've got to be kidding me," plus it was January, so that didn't help. But when I think of everything we've experienced and the people we've met its hard to imagine that soon it will only be memories. I've made a list, in no particular order, of some of the things that have made a huge impression on me that I will really miss. All but one of these photos were taken by one of my favorite gals, Racheal "That's-how-she-spells-it" White. She takes so many amazing photos but we had to narrow it down to just a few. These are all taken around the town where we live.
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| Photo by Racheal White |
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| Photo by Racheal White |
HOSPITALITY There's hospitality...and then there's Korean hospitality. Its difficult to adequately describe The Kindness. I've gotten used to it and I think anything less will be a difficult adjustment. Koreans, in general, are just so wonderfully kind. I may have already mentioned that its perfectly normal for a waitress to hold a baby so parents can eat. They just come and take them and its amazing and now I expect it. Uhhh, ladies? I'm trying to eat over here. Can you please take my fussy baby already?! Koreans ADORE babies and children, but they also really want parents to stuff themselves full of good food. Farmers have given us produce straight from the plant when we've walked by. Its normal for someone else to wipe your kid's runny nose and help them if they fall down. And now I have the unusual task of unteaching the boys the ultimate no-no: That its no longer ok to accept candy from strangers, because that is also normal!
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| Take this, for example. We lost this hat over a year ago and never knew where or when. A few weeks ago we walk into a restaurant that we hadn't been to in a long time and before I could sit down, one of the ladies put this on our table. Jonah lost it here, they kept it for over a year (who does that??) and remembered us as soon as we walked in the door, as though they were waiting for us to return so they could give it back. |
FOOD Korea has some of the best strawberries, cucumbers, sweet potatoes and apples I've ever tasted. I will miss bibimbap, the cold buckwheat noodle soup and those cinnamon pancakes! And I don't even want to think about all the flavors of the barbeque and the side dishes. I'm already wiping my chin from the drool! Nothing will compare to the in-country, authentic, good stuff. SOB!
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| Photo by Racheal White. Hello? Nat Geo? |
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| Photo by Racheal White |
THE GUARDS Every time we drive onto the Army post we have to stop for the guards to check our IDs. I don't care if its snowing or 99 degrees and humid, those guards are the sweetest, smiliest, friendliest guys doing one of the most monotonous, thankless jobs around. Every day its a different crew on duty and every day they say, "Hello, babies! Have a wonderful day!" Just a few weeks ago, upon seeing the boys in the back of the car, one of the few female guards said, "Three boy? You must be so happy!" instead of some comment on how exhausted I must be. I will never forget the meaning of what she said and I will miss their kind, smiling faces. Lesson learned from Koreans: Even if your job stinks (sometimes literally because of the manure) you can still smile, be happy and have a positive influence on someone's day. I'll miss you guys!
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| Photo by Racheal White |
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| Photo by Racheal White |
SAFETY You know that sixth sense, perhaps heightened in moms, when it feels like something is weird or unsafe? Yeah, I don't get that here. And it isn't just me! I've talked to several other moms who say that the feeling of safety for their kids is the best part about living in Korea and they're going to miss it when they leave. What's so ironic, though, is that to most people the thought of South Korea immediately makes them think of North Korea and how much danger we're all in and aren't we all worried about "the nut to the north"? Nope. Not really. When North Korea is all over the news in the US, no one here is losing sleep over it. (Ok, I'm sure somebody does because there is always somebody.) I think I have had two conversations about North Korea lasting for a total of five minutes. I realize, as civilians, that we're in a different boat than the military families, but even Army spouses whose husbands would have to stay behind in a conflict don't seem to be fretting. I'm sure the soldiers have to talk about it all the time (because that's their job) but the rest of us are talking about the weather and where the watermelon guy parked his truck. We actually think its funny how much our US friends worry about us! I think its a combination of feeling so safe here in day to day life and having confidence in the military in the unlikely event that something does happen. But worrying about the safety of my kids in public is not something I've had to deal with and I will always remember that about Korea and be grateful.
ATTITUDE Even though the American presence in this country is ultimately to help Korea in case of a war, which I think they are very thankful for, the people in this community have every reason to be ticked off with having to share their little town with increasingly more foreigners year after year. We don't speak the language. Not all of us follow their rules and customs because we either didn't take the time to learn them or we just don't care. We're loud and we don't all respect their ways to the point that sometimes I am embarrassed. Obviously foreign groups living with locals happens all over the world, but despite their justified grounds to be irritated by us, they remain gracious, patient and kind. If they are annoyed I would never know because they don't show it. Its just not their way. They could easily be rude or condescending for "doing it wrong", but they're not. In fact, they feel bad for not being able to speak English to us in their own country. I continue to be amazed at their friendliness to foreigners. Lesson learned from Koreans: Go above and beyond in kindness and patience to the foreigner in my community.
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| Photo by Racheal White |
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| Photo by Racheal White |
MY LADIES I mean, wow. I never expected to find such a supportive, fun, helpful and wonderful group of friends all in one small place and I don't know if I will ever get so lucky again. They were my village, helping to take care of me and my kids in countless ways. And my neighbors (sighhh). One of the great things about apartment living is that you can pop over to their place in 2.2 seconds and...Boom! Cup of sugar. Boom! Play date. Boom! Mommy Happy Hour. This has got to be the hardest part of all the moving around - cultivating friendships and then inevitably having to give them up, at least in the hanging-out sense. I love this quote that someone posted on Facebook: "You will never be completely at home again because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." I can't imagine going from this kind of network to being all alone in Germany! (Double dry heave) I will miss my ladies immensely.
Now, there are certain things I will definitely not miss like enormous mutant insects, the yellow dust and crazy driving. The driving didn't really bother me at first, but after two and a half years, I have seen too many people making some really BAD choices. Every time I drive or even walk across the street I see or experience close calls because someone decided they didn't feel like stopping at a red. This is the one safety issue I have. Lesson learned from Korea: Never trust a green light (or, dare I say, a Korean behind the wheel). That's something I am really looking forward to in Germany. They have a lot of driving rules that people actually follow. I'm ready for some rules and rule-following.
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| Photo by Racheal White. Oh! These farmers work so hard! And most of them are well advanced in age. |
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| Photo by Racheal White |
After all this time here I've learned a lot, but one thing I did not learn is the language. I always thought it was so sad when someone had an opportunity to live somewhere for so long and not learn the language! Waaaayyyull...now I understand how easily that can happen. I like to think it would have been different if we truly lived on the Korean economy, but so much of our time was spent with other Americans. Tobin, age six, can count to ten in both of the number systems (yes, there are two!), sing songs and knows most parts of the body! I knew two words when we arrived and now I have maybe fifteen. Sad. Its just too hard with all the lines and squares and circles and two ways of counting! Marc did amazingly well from going to classes and studying on his own. In my defense though, I was either pregnant, postpartum or worn out, and...sorry Hangul, but I'm just not that into you. I think I am equally enthusiastic about learning German as I am apathetic toward Hangul. I feel bad saying that but the language was never on my bucket list. Hopefully I can make up for it in Germany.
As a family, we have seen and done a lot in Korea, but there is a whole lot we never got around to. I can't believe we never went to a lantern festival or to the east coast which I hear is stunningly beautiful. The depth and richness of the Korean culture is so vast and so foreign and we have barely scratched the surface. I will never know how much I don't know but I do know its a lot. What I can say is that I'm learning to stop automatically making comparisons between what I'm used to and Korea. Instead of saying, "That's not how we do it" or "that's unusual", I think, "This is Korea. This is their way." I imagine that someone who is very well traveled in all sorts of cultures gets to the point where they never even think about comparisons. It is what it is.
As odd as it sounds to hear myself say this, is that Korea, though still so foreign, feels like home and this land that I had never thought twice about three years ago will now always have a special place in my heart. Its strange being here, in this small, unknown, farming village, like I'm not really supposed to be here, but I am, and I'm getting a glimpse of someone else's life. But as much as I've grown to love Korea and will always miss it, I will miss my friends more. Hugs and kisses to all! XXOO
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| Photo by Racheal White |
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| Photo by Racheal White |
