New Year's Trip

At some point on every sleep-away trip, usually the first night, I think to myself, "What on earth possessed us to leave the house?"

We planned this trip a while back to go to southern Germany during the school break to hopefully see some snow and go sledding. Our German neighbors sang the praises of the Youth Hostel as a cheaper, more fun place for families to stay on vacation. If you've ever been to Europe, your idea of a youth hostel, like mine, is probably a less-than-sparkly, rundown, frat house in the middle of the city where you have to share a room with fifteen other strangers and take showers together. Germany has perfected this concept and turned into more of a Youth/Family Hostel, but I don't even like to call it a hostel. It sounds so...hostile. Let's call it an auberge.

Anyway, there are tons of the them around Germany and some cater to families more than others. Some have adventure themes if its in the right kind of area. Our room had three bunk beds, a table and several closets. The men's bathroom and (private) showers were on the first floor where our room was and women's were on the second floor. Jonah and Doren were completely free, so we only had to pay about $26/person/night for the three of us for lodging and breakfast. We added on the option of lunch and dinner, too, which were only about $6/person/day.

We arrived in time for dinner...

You get a tray, your plates, utensils and cups and find a table. Then go to the window, say your last name and the chef gives you whatever amount for your family size. There is also a nice all-you-can-eat salad bar.

After eating you clear your table and bring everything to the dish washing window. Grab a sanitizing bucket and wipe your own table. No cooking! No dishes! No resentful glaring!

That night we made our beds and unpacked some stuff. Doren always sleeps with us at home and as much as I would like him to sleep on his own now I'm not willing to put up with the living hell it would take to get him to do it. But here we tried to make it exciting. "Doren gets his own bed! Look! We're all here together! Doren can sleep in his very own bed across from Mommy!" Well, that didn't work. I wouldn't even call it a twin bed. It was like sleeping bag-width but with a wood frame. It would have been just fine for me but instead I got to share that space with Doren who soothes himself to sleep by scratching and pinching my neck skin.

We usually sleep with a fan at home. The silence is too silent and the noises are too loud, but we forgot it! Planning fail #1. In that very silent silence we got to enjoy the noise of a group of youths (it's a Youth Hostel, after all) having a singalong with a guitar in the basement under us. They sang every song, all in English mind you, from Lean On Me to Mister Jones to Chasing Cars. Hours later they got into Let It Go. I'm the kind of person who knows all the lyrics and when I hear a song I can't not say them in my head until the song is done. So it was like I was there singing with those teens, only I was in a wooden sleeping bag having my throat scratched and listening to Marc mouth-breathe. A fan would have been helpful! Fun times.

The next morning at breakfast:

Cereal, muesli, hard boiled eggs and fruit.

Bread rolls, cucumber, tomato, meat, cheese and spreads.

I love waking up to coffee and not cooking!

The dining room

Breakfast was just the cold buffet with the bread and all the fixings. Since they assume everyone is going out during the day, lunch is to-go. The chef gave me a bag with five bread rolls, five pieces of fruit (it changed each day) and five fun-size candy bars. Then you use the fixings from the breakfast buffet to make your own sandwiches. So breakfast and lunch were basically the same thing. It was great because we didn't have to worry about stopping and finding a place to eat in the middle of the day and way cheaper than anything we could get at a restaurant.

For our first day we decided to get to check out Zugspitze, the highest peak in Germany and border of the Alps. It's one of those places you have to see if you live here and the whole reason for the trip was to do some sledding. Sighhh. If I were to write a book about our experience, I would title it Misery on a Mountaintop or That Time I Threw Myself Off the Zugspitze. Doren was in rare form, Well, normal form, but it felt worse because we were on a cold, crowded mountain.

When we got there the line out the door was at least two hours. We contemplated just forgetting it but decided it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and we were right here. If we had only known what the rest of it would be like we might have decided otherwise! The boys were already complaining about being cold and we weren't even in the building to buy the tickets yet.

Finally we get to the front and wait to get on the cable car.

Here comes the little box that's going to carry forty people vertically to the highest peak on a string. I tried not to think about it too much.

Doren with his attitude, shades and teddy bear hat. Whatever, man! 

My guys at the top. After all the whining they were like, "This is really cool!"

Obviously, the view was amazing. The mountains went on forever. And since we were right on the border of Germany and Austria you could have one foot in each country. I could have just looked at the view for a long time, really taken my time to make the most of the effort to get up there, but it was kind of hard with having to keep an eye on three kids in the crowds and ice all over the place. But it was really beautiful and I am glad we did it.

The tippy top

In order to get to the skiiing and sledding area you have to take another cable car to a lower area. I know its a popular place, but geez we sure picked the wrong day to see it. There were so many people and most of them were schlepping the skis, the boots, and the big fat snow suits. We finally figured out how to get to the cable car and then waited in another huge line. I understand the beauty of skiiing, but you really have to love it to put up with what it takes just to get to the slopes. SO MUCH SCHLEPPING!

"You can wipe that smile of your face, Daddy-Man. Ima take it up a notch."

Teddy bear, don't care. 

We get down to the skiing area and it really is a paradise. There were so many different options for slopes so people were everywhere. It felt like being inside a miniature winter scene with little people the size of ants. We rented a couple of sleds for the boys and they went down the sledding hill a few times. That's when Doren lost his mind. He wanted to sled too so Marc took him down but then he didn't want to be pulled back up the hill on the sled, so Marc had to carry him. I thought it would be nice to just drag him around on the flat part but he didn't like that either. He didn't want to sit, he didn't want to stand. He just wanted to have a tantrum.

Then Toby comes back up the hill crying because he slammed right into a little girl. There were all these people just standing around in the middle of the hill taking pictures, completely oblivious to the fact that it was a designated sledding hill. So T is coming down and can't really control the sled and completely wipes out this girl, flipping her feet-over-head and landing on her head. She's crying, he's crying and Marc yells at her older brothers for standing right in the path. She could have been seriously hurt. This happened twice. I'm trying to manage Doren and Marc is trying to "enjoy" the sledding with the boys, but its so crowded and all these idiots are just standing around on the narrow hillside making it stressful for the sledders. I finally see another sledding hill that looks a lot more peaceful, but by this time Doren is so miserable and out of his mind that it just isn't fun for anyone. Here we were in this absolutely idyllic scene: mountains, views, sunshine, ant-sized skiers, the most perfect, cozy Alpine lodge to have a nice hot drink - and we can't enjoy or do any of it because Doren is screaming and flopping all over the ground. It was just too much to do with a two-year old. The crowds and long lines definitely didn't help either.

A little church.

We still managed to look like we were enjoying ourselves.

For the final descent down the mountain we waited in another very long line and were then herded onto the train platform for another thirty minutes. Doren chose the final minute before the train came to blow out his pants. So while everyone else was boarding the train we were wiping, stripping, bagging and redressing, which meant now all the seats were taken. Fortunately, one of the train guys helped us out and the boys and I squished onto one seat while Marc had to stand. It was at least another thirty minutes packed in between people with Doren screeching and trying to get off my lap. So, yeah, great mountain, fun stuff, but not with a two year old and not during the Christmas holiday. Planning fail #2.


The next day we wanted to go to Neuschwanstein castle. It's been years since I was there and really wanted the boys to see it. I knew it was wise to buy tickets online to by-pass the long lines but I didn't know it had to be done two days in advance. Planning fail #3. It was less than ten minutes from the auberge so I got in the long line while Marc drove the boys around to keep warm. Long story short: it was too cold, too long, and I knew the boys would complain about the forty minute hike up a freezing hill. Canceled.

Here's the castle. They saw it from the road.

We decided the smart thing to do was whatever would be the most relaxing for us, which means whatever would be the most fun for the kids, which means indoor fun zone. We felt kind of lame about it though. Here we are in this amazing location and we're going to spend the time inside at a glorified McDonalds Play Place? But it was really cold out!

It was very nice, though. Probably the cleanest and with the most fun stuff of all the fun zones we've been to. Unplanned win #1!

We may have been at a fun zone for kids but I still managed to get in some me-time. They compassionately placed massage chairs around the huge room. For $2 I had a ten minute massage! Then I might have put in two more dollars, then two more. For the low price of $6 I had a very relaxing thirty minute massage complete with the sound of ocean waves in the headphones to drown out the screaming and sound of vibrating pleather.

There were two kids playing air hockey four feet in front of my face, but nothing was going to harsh my zen.
Unplanned win #2!

Girl doing the free-fall. Tobin wanted to but turned back at the top. Good boy.

Jonah being eaten by a giant alligator.

Oh now he's happy!

On the way back from the fun-zone we stopped in the town of Füssen. I had no idea it was so cute. I mean, it's Germany, so obviously, but I thought it was just some little town with one road going through it. But there were many little walking streets, cute shops, cafes and a path along a river. I never get tired of this stuff!

The best idea was bringing the new scooters Santa brought them. So much better than plain old walking. And swans!

When Doren fell asleep we took advantage of getting some dessert that he can't have anyway. Two apple strudels and chocolate cake!

The sweetest little cream pot you've ever seen.

Back at the auberge...

After a long day of skiing, sledding or fun-zoning the kids can relax in the play room.

Doing his part at the trash and recycling bins.

On the third day, New Year's Eve, I was feeling a little blah so instead of forcing myself out to tour around we just hung out. We thought about leaving that day instead of staying one more night like planned but the boys were having too much fun, so we just decided to relax like you're supposed to do on vacation.

Having another coffee and reading about more Family/Youth hostels while the big boys are romping around somewhere in the building.

I am totally sold on this Youth Hostel thing. It's like something between a nice hotel and camping. Do we have these in the US? I honestly don't know. Not only is it way cheaper than a hotel, it's much less stuffy. I don't cringe if the boys run down the hall. Noise is expected. There are kids everywhere! And it's very casual and comfy with people lounging around in house shoes, reading books in the lobby, and drinking tea wherever they want. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are inexpensive and ready for us. There's no trying to find a restaurant, waiting to order, paying the bill, etc. One night we had sauerkraut and sausage, another night was dumplings, and another was spaghetti (and they can even change it for dietary restrictions). Down in the basement is a ping pong table, Fussball table, laundry room, and a cozy, little pillow room. You can borrow movies and games and get hot drinks whenever you want. Since most people are there to go out and do things, they like everyone to be gone by 9am so they can clean the entire place. Ten minutes after the breakfast chaos its all cleaned up and shiny like we were never there. They bleach the sandstone floors in the hall and the bathrooms were impeccable. My four words for Germany and what I've come to expect from everywhere we go is Quality, Clean, Cute and Clever. The fact that they even manage to check off this list at a youth hostel is pretty impressive. If only quality started with a C!

After everyone comes back from their outings and after dinner, most people find a table in the dining room to play games, chat, drink wine (you have to bring your own) and let the kids play with the other kids. There were some groups of families there together and some couples without kids.

Marc took them for a walk while I rested. It was glorious.

Goofing around in the little pillow room

My once-removed Encinitas trio

Playing in the kid room

Later that night, I was finishing up a puzzle with Jonah and another little girl when I saw a bunch of people in coats gathering at the door to go outside. #clueless But then I realized that I saw the front desk guy arranging some torches and this must be what they were for. I told Jonah to go down to the basement to see if Dad and Tobin wanted to go but he came back and said they were busy playing ping pong. So I put on my coat and shoes, ran outside, grabbed a torch and joined the end of the group. I had no idea where we were going but it looked interesting like a traditional, Pagany, silent walk through the streets to signal the new year.

It was such a peaceful, special walk with all those torches and I haven't seen that many stars in YEARS.

The group returned at about 9:30 which is already way later than bed time, but it was New Year's, the boys were having fun and we read about a Buffet at 10:00. Twist my arm! But then everyone who came into the dining room was carrying chips. Again, #clueless. Is this a chips buffet? The kitchen was closed so were we supposed to bring our own food and they're just calling it a buffet? We didn't get the memo! A minute later, the kitchen doors open and the chef starts bringing out platter after gorgeous platter of tons of food. I'm telling you, this stuff rivaled any $50/person Bellagio buffet. We couldn't believe how nice everything was and it was just included in our stay!

I'm so glad we stayed for the last night even though we didn't stay up til midnight. It was nice to have a "party" to attend for the holiday. But I was feeling yucky and woke up feeling even worse. I was on the way to being sick and as I lay here typing this blog I'm aching all over, drinking Emergen-C, and barely able to do anything but type. The good news is that I made it all the way through the holidays with so many plans and never got sick until the very first day of the new year. (weak party horn blow)

We packed the car excited to get back home to our own beds, but our four hour drive turned into eight, thanks to the holiday traffic. Planning fail #4.

It was actually a really great trip except for the first day on the mountain with Doren, sleeping with Doren, and the drive back home. There were many more unplanned wins than planning fails. I think we've finally learned that any trips for the foreseeable future need to be really, really low-key and kid-friendly until Doren is like ten years old. We've already booked a few nights at another hostel, ahem, auberge, for spring break.

Holiday road!

Colmar and Christmas

Christmas in Germany...such a magical time. I feel like it suits this region to be Christmassy all year round. We've been to several markets around here so we wanted to branch out.

We made plans to go to the Strasbourg, France Christmas market. It's a big city we haven't been to yet and it seemed like a Christmas market that we needed to see. It's only about one and a half hours from here. A few days before, however, I was talking to some friends and they said it was so crowded and overwhelming and that we should consider the Colmar Christmas market which is just one more hour south. They said it's the most picturesque, charming town and supposedly the inspiration for the town in Beauty and the Beast. Say no more!! There goes the baker with his tray like always...AAAHHHH! We already reserved an AirBnB in Strasbourg so we stopped there first, met the family, got the keys and then headed south.

First things first. Mama gets the glühwein. Boys get Nutella waffles. Daddy gets nothing cuz he has to drive and take pictures.

No justice is done in these pictures. I should just post the professional ones from Google.

I want to live in there. I will love it and clean it and pet it and love it and...

Google image of the same houses above

Hawt Chawklet

Google. For really reals?

Google. Yes, this is really what it looked like!

This is a tiny, very cozy little restaurant where we had dinner. Most of the buildings were like this: completely covered in decorations.

Again, no justice is done in this picture. It was magical!

I bought this hollow metal heart. It's Christmasy but it's going to be on the wall all year.

I've seen a lot of very cute villages but Colmar has to be up there in the top five in the world. Fairy tale towns do exist and real people live and work in them. My heart is still a-flutter.

We spent the night at the house outside Strasbourg. The lady of the house is a Palestian/Egyptian and her husband is French and they have an adorable three year old daughter who was thrilled to have three boys to play with. They invited us to tea that evening and for a typical French breakfast in the morning. They were so nice to chat with - I think we all feel like friends now!

We drove home the next day, which was Christmas Eve with enough time to prepare for Christmas morning, get the jammies on, and watch a movie.

(Paleo) cookies for Santa to choke down and a carrot for Rudolph.

Christmas morning...

I think it was a success.

Since my parents visited us back in October we didn't have any plans for Christmas so we decided to invite a local refugee family over for dinner. Here's the backstory: I go to a toddler playgroup every Wednesday hosted at the Mennonite church. Some of the church members are really involved with the refugee families and one day a Syrian woman came to the group with her baby girl. She named her older children and I quickly figured out that her oldest son is in the same class as Tobin. Last year he talked about a new Arabisch boy that joined his class and I recognized the name. A few days later was the second grade Christmas party and one of the Mennonite gals said she was going to drive their family to the party and asked if I would be able to take them home. So that's how I got to know L, the woman from Syria, and her family. She and her husband have two boys ages 8 and 6, and a 4 month old baby girl who is named after the Mennonite gal who has been especially helpful to them. They can speak Arabic but only speak Kurdish at home. After one year of living here the boys speak German, too. Her husband can also do pretty well with German after such a short time and L gets by with a little German and English.

They accepted our invitation so I had to start planning the dinner. I knew they didn't eat pork and we all know how my last turkey turned out. I really wanted them to feel as comfortable as possible so I decided we'd have a Syrian Christmas dinner. Our local fruit and vegetable market is owned by a Turkish family so I asked them about some ingredients. It's not exactly the same but closer than what I could get at a regular grocery store. I got a big tub of real Turkish yogurt (better than anything!) and they ordered some Halal (like Kosher) chicken for me. I don't think they only eat Halal, but I wasn't sure at the time. Anyway, I made a cucumber and tomato salad with a bunch of herbs - the trick with Middle Eastern salads is to chop everything so small that you can eat it with a spoon and there is no such thing as too much parsley - and some herb and yogurt covered chicken. They both turned out really good!

I use WhatsApp to communicate with L and saying it was a "hot mess" would be an understatement. The translation from English to Kurdish and back just wasn't working, words were gibberish and we were both totally confused. So she had the clever idea to record her son asking the question in German, then I would play it for Tobin and then I recorded him saying the answer back. It was so cute with their little voices helping the moms!

We weren't sure what to expect for the evening. Would we be able to communicate enough in German with them? What would we talk about for three or four hours? Would they be really uncomfortable if we had wine or beer? They didn't appear to be very conservative because she doesn't wear a head covering, but I had no idea what to expect. The day before Christmas one of Marc's colleagues and his wife said they would like to come over and were really excited about meeting our new friends. And then L said her brother unexpectedly came up from Munich. I picked them all up and immediately the car smelled heavenly with whatever she made.

They came inside and right away seemed comfortable, made themselves at home and fell right into conversation. L brought her stuff into the kitchen, starting mixing it up, heating her dishes, and trying to wash my dishes as if she'd been to my house dozens of times. I quietly asked if her husband would like to have any beer and she said, "oh yes!" and that she would like some wine. I was so pleasantly surprised! Well then, let's get this party started!

The guys finding some good Kurdish music on YouTube

The boys with their Bey Blades

Everything went much better than I expected. The music was loud, the kids were playing, the food was heating and we were all mingling together and getting by with some English and some German.

Our Syrian feast
I never could have imagined that I would be living in Germany, having Christmas with a Kurdish family from Syria and that our common language would be quasi-German!

She made an amazing tabbouleh and this one dish of dried, sauteed, dark green leaves with garlic, chicken and lemon on rice. Oh my heaven. It was a very strong smell and flavor and so unlike anything I've ever tasted, but I couldn't get enough. I want more RIGHT NOW. She said she would make it for me when they invite us to their house. Yay! The fabled Syrian hospitality is definitely clear. She just wants to have people to cook for and talk with!

We had a lot of questions. They come from Aleppo and when things were getting pretty bad one year ago they traveled to Lebanon and stayed in a refugee camp. Then he showed us the actual video of them safely landing in a raft after sailing from Turkey to Greece. I've seen plenty of the harrowing videos online of all the people in life jackets getting out of the rafts, but to see their actual faces shouting for joy that they made it alive brought it so close to me. Then they had to walk, with their young boys and their stuff, for fifteen days with very little food to some other camp and from there they were sent to Germany. It sounds like there wasn't much choice in where they go and the authorities don't necessarily try to keep extended families together. Her brother was sent to Munich and his sister was sent to Vienna. They said that they would like to get together with other refugees to have friends with the same language, but they purposely avoid them because they don't want the locals to get uncomfortable seeing them in groups, as if they're plotting something.

They told us that back in Syria he had a very successful business in textiles. They had a very comfortable life with two cars and two or three houses around the country. They had 700 people at their wedding. They were always getting together in huge groups of family and friends for feasts that went on for days. Now it's all gone. They used to live in a bustling city where hundreds of people would pass their door every day. Now they live alone in a tiny German town with absolutely no one to be with except the few Mennonites who reached out. He has been trying to find work with no luck, obviously. For one, they were sent to a small town. Maybe he would have better luck if they had been sent to a bigger city. So he just sits around, young, able, and willing but with nothing to do at this point. Imagine being forced to flee with your family to a different country that you don't want to live in, not knowing the language, not knowing where to begin, with no friends or family and no money. You can tell that they both really miss their former life but are grateful for their safety here. Fortunately, most of their family is safely scattered around Europe, but her parents and young brother are still in Aleppo. Each time I see her I'm afraid to ask how they are. L is basically the human equivalent of a sparkly Christmas ornament ball and I'm afraid that one day I'll see her and she'll just be blank.

Who knows if they will ever get those good times back. Will they ever be back with friends and family for the feasts? Will their city ever be rebuilt? Certainly not to its former beauty, but something? They said that as soon as it looks like things are getting better they want to go back. But I've seen the before-and-after pictures and I can't imagine what they would go back to. Their entire previous way of life no longer exists except in their memories. I think about how sometimes I feel displaced, sometimes lonely, and missing people, but my people and their homes and cities are still there for me to go back to whenever I want. For us it's just choices - should we stay or should we go? We wanted to come here to live for awhile, but they didn't. They never wanted to leave their home and everything they had. It's probably just a pile of rubble now anyway.

Their baby girl is so precious and still at the age when she doesn't care who holds her. Of course I held her as much as possible, because baby. and. girl. Then Doren started yelling, "Lap!"

He yelled at me every time I took her away. "BABY! LAP!"

I encourage everyone to seek out those who find themselves in your community. I'm sure they're grateful to be safe but they don't necessarily want to be there. It must be such a lonely, desperate feeling. All they need is a little kindness and generosity. This family is so sweet. Nothing at all like the "stereotypical" idea of a Muslim refugee family. They're fun, bubbly, warm, generous and just want to be included. What if it were you, displaced and alone? Aren't we lucky to live in the safe place? I know that there has been plenty of discrimination and it breaks my heart hearing stories about people calling them dirty, nasty refugees and others yelling, "Go back where you came from!" Believe me, they would love nothing more, but there is no home left.

When it was about time for the kids to get to bed I drove them back to their house. She was gushing with thanks for inviting them over. I finally lost it when I hugged her goodbye. I told them I'm so sorry for what their family has been through and the ones still in Aleppo. They just patted me and smiled saying, "Amy, Amy, it's ok." When I got in the car L leaned in and said, "Du bist meine Schwester. You are my sister." ❤️