Third Time's the Charm: Doren's Birth

Doren Nicolas Holt was born May 9 at 5:30am in Seoul at the MediFlower Women's Clinic and Birth Center (glitter&harps!). Almost two weeks later, I'm still amazed at how great the experience was and how much better I feel this time around. Here's the story...

But first, in order to explain why Doren's birth was so great, I have to talk a little bit about the other two. When I was about 35 weeks pregnant with Toby, I was told that he was breech and would have to have a c-section if he didn't turn over. This was really disappointing news for me because I had been planning on a natural birth. We tried everything we could but he didn't budge so I ended up having a c-section, which in hindsight probably wasn't really necessary, but I didn't know that at the time. The recovery was really hard for me and besides my parents visiting for 10 days, I had little to no help at all because Marc was still in grad school and gone most of the day. I survived on trail mix because I couldn't get anything else. Feeding Toby was a major challenge that caused a lot of pain, tears and frustration. Looking back on that whole experience, our situation, and everything I was dealing with at that time, its a miracle that I didn't have full-blown postpartum depression. I honestly don't know how I escaped it because I had a laundry list of signs stacked against me. With Jonah, I was determined not to have a repeat cesarean. Fortunately, I found a doctor and a doula who were totally supportive and Jonah cooperated by being in the right position. I went through about 8 hours of irregular, moderate contractions and then suddenly they were on top of each other and we had to rush to the hospital. There was no time for my doula to come to our house. We just met her there and he was born about 90 minutes later. I got the au naturale VBAC that I wanted, but he came out so fast that I ended up with a serious amount of third-degree tearing which meant I had to immediately go to the OR to be stitched up. Physically, the recovery wasn't much easier than the c-section, but this time we lived closer to my parents and I had more help in the form of friends bringing dinners to us. Feeding Jonah started off pretty rocky but soon got so much better - completely the opposite of Tobin, thank goodness.

And now for Doren...

On Thursday, May 8, I remember feeling particularly uncomfortable in my back and pelvis, but it wasn't until around 3:00pm that I started feeling more acute cramping in my lower abdomen. Two friends came over with their kids for a play date and I'm SO glad they were there. I wasn't sure if what I was feeling were contractions or just digestion issues. I told them when I felt something and they both said, "Oh yeah, that's a contraction!" It was good to get their feedback because I was completely in denial. It was Thursday and I wasn't due until Sunday and really felt like I would go past. And Marc and Toby had a bunch of sports events on Saturday that I really wanted them to participate in. This wasn't supposed to happen yet!

After my friends left I continued to feel more alleged contractions so Marc and I talked about what to do. He suggested going up to Seoul to stay in the Army Lodge so we could be close to MediFlower just in case. The contractions were so far apart and irregular that I felt it might be too hasty, but we decided to just go. (This turned out to be one of the best decisions we've ever made!) So we packed up our stuff, loaded the car and hit the road for Seoul at around 9:30pm. The boys were very excited about this spontaneous night trip to a hotel! I was still in denial. We arrived around 11:00 with the boys still awake and immediately went to bed. At 12:45am I woke up from a contraction. It wasn't too bad. And then another came 20 minutes later, then another. I was up and down to the bathroom and back to bed for the next few hours. At around 1:45am there was some bloody show and I was finally convinced. At 3:30am, since I was up anyway, I was able to easily respond to an email from a friend. By 3:50 things had turned serious enough that I woke up Marc and called my doula to tell her I thought I should probably head over to MediFlower soon and meet her there. I suggested to Marc that I take a taxi so that the boys could sleep longer since I still thought this could take awhile, but fortunately that idea was squashed with the next few contractions. It was clear that we should all go together because this was going to happen soon. Marc jumped in the shower and in the few minutes he was in there things got pretty serious. I told him to hurry up! He took everything down to the car while I did my best getting socks and sweaters on our sleeping boys. I couldn't do much because the contractions were requiring all of my attention at this point.

One of the few pre-birth pictures: Selfie between contractions as I'm trying to get Jonah's sweatshirt on at the hotel.

Marc was back within a few minutes, but by now I wasn't even sure how I was going to walk to the elevator and then to the car. It was only a 5 mile drive from the hotel to the clinic (and at 4:30am - probably the only time traffic isn't bad in Seoul). We arrived at MediFlower and, again, it was quite a feat just moving myself the 20 feet from the car to the elevator. I felt so relieved when the nurses greeted us at the door, but by this time I wasn't seeing faces anymore. I did, however, manage to remember to remove my shoes! (They probably would have wrestled them off me if I hadn't.) I held their arms as they led me to the birth suite where I dropped to my knees next to the bed. I told them in advance that I wanted a water birth, so I asked to get in the tub, but they said it was already being used by someone else. Ugh! That was a blow, but I had no time to be bummed about it. I was on my knees in a prayer-pose against the queen size bed. The boys were sitting on a couch about 3 feet from my head. The nurses asked if I wanted to get on the bed but I didn't know how I would physically move myself, so I stayed put on the floor. With each contraction I mushed my face into the bed, hair stuck all over my sweaty face and did my best low-tone breathing. Pretty soon I could hear my doula's voice and then Dr. Chung's voice, both of whom were trying to keep me calm and slow down my breathing. Within minutes my breaths turned into groaning because his head was right there! With three pushes, and, yes, some screaming, he was out. I didn't know it at the time, but Dr. Chung told Marc to catch the baby, which he did. They told him to pass the baby through my legs. I didn't understand why this was necessary at the time, but later we realized it was because he was still attached to the cord (duh!). Marc passed Doren, all slippery and wet through my legs and then I was able to get up and sit on the edge of the bed. It took quite a long time (and a lot of huffing and puffing) for me to get over the whole experience because it was so fast and intense. Remember, I was able to write an email to my friend from the hotel at 3:30 with manageable contractions and he was born at 5:30am.

I shudder to think what would have happened had we not driven up to the hotel the evening before! It took several hours of here-and-there manageable contractions and then BAM! it hits me and goes really fast. So if we had waited at home, or even waited longer at the hotel, Doren could have been born on some sidewalk by the road.

The birth I had *envisioned* was arriving at MediFlower with my doula, relaxing in a lavender-scented bath, then rolling around on the birth ball while receiving a massage, diffusing more essential oils, and then getting back in the tub to calmly have the baby with minimal noise-making. There was no time for any of that! By the time we all got there, I think I was with my doula for a total of 20 minutes before he was born. Of course she stayed for several hours afterwards to help and get me settled, but just like with Jonah's birth, there was no time for any of the massaging and relaxing techniques from my doula. By the time I realize what is really happening the baby is born within an hour! I also told Marc and my doula in advance that this time I really wanted pictures and video of the labor, but, again, there was no time for that. Oh well!

Like I said, the boys were only 3 feet from my head the entire time, so they saw the whole thing. Ok, not the whole back view and all that "action", but they did see the labor process, the placenta and all the post-birth happenings. I wanted all of us to be together and for them to understand how their brother was born and to see him immediately, not later on as though he magically appeared in Mommy's arms. Yes, they're young, but this was a natural process of life happening right in front of them. I hope they remember it!

They're either really bored or totally traumatized.

The first holding

Dr. Chung made good on his side of the bargain, too! I tore 1cm and only needed a single stitch even though he came out just as quickly as Jonah. Pretty amazing! I will never forget this guy. "Live the happy life and don't worry."

Dr. Chung :)

My doula :)

At birth, Doren weighed only 5lbs 11oz which is odd to me because the other boys were 7.0 and 7.3. If he were a girl it might make sense but I don't understand why another boy was so much smaller. I've definitely been eating my share and even more when I was told he was on the small side for my size. It's a mystery! There was a knot in his cord but that shouldn't have made a difference because its so thick that everything can still flow through it. And he was 20 inches long - an itty bitty little bird. Feeding is going really well and I'm trying my best to put more weight on him. Again, this time the feeding has been by far the easiest for me. Everything is working as it should.

Breakfast: scrambled eggs, salad, fresh fruit, seaweed soup, bagel and croissants. Nice-uh!

Packing up to go home. Look! I'm standing!

Exhausted big brothers

I'm still not used to his name. I keep calling him Jonah and I've even spelled it wrong. Coming up with yet another boy name was hard and Doren was the only name I found that interested me. I thought about what possible nicknames he could be called and Dori is the obvious one, which happens to be what we called my grandma, Doris, or Grandma Dori. Yeah, its kind of a girly name, but I think it could be cute for a boy, too. So there you go. Doren means 'gift' in Hebrew and he really is such a gift. He was born 6 days before I had a miscarriage one year ago. It's crazy for me to think about that.

The past week and a half since he was born has been really wonderful. Marc's job is a lot more flexible so he's been able to take time off. He's done everything with the big boys and the apartment so I can just relax with the baby. I'm amazed at how well I feel so soon. I was able to walk around the same day, which is a far cry from the other two boys. My body has relaxed so much now that I'm not pregnant anymore and it feels wonderful. I'm so glad I made all those freezer meals beforehand and some friends and neighbors have brought dinner to us, too. I feel very well taken care of and so much more confident and calm this time even though Doren is the tiniest one and now I have three to look after. I wish I could tell my first-time-mom self everything I know now and that all new moms could have this time to recover and relax with their baby and be taken care of. I learned a lot from the experiences with my first two boys and now I'm able to enjoy this time with Doren even more. I'm so grateful that this time, the last time, was by far the best experience of them all.

One of Marc's Korean co-worker's wives made us a big tub of seaweed soup which is traditionally given to new moms, a berry syrup potion that's supposed to help with digestion, and gave us several packs of more seaweed.

You can't really tell, but this is a LOT of seaweed soup. I'm choking down as much as I can!

Jonah can't get enough of his baby.

I can't get enough of his velvety little cheeks.

Grunting, gurgling, squeaking and smacking.

Our precious little boy! We're in love!

Spring Update

Hi Friends and Loyal Readers! (All five of you!) It's been a long time since I've written on this here blog. We haven't done anything unique-to-Korea lately that I feel is worth writing about, but I do have some updates.

First, I passed my exam! I'm officially an ICEA Childbirth Educator... aaaaand just in time to go on "maternity leave" from teaching the classes I've been hosting on the Army post. The classes have been great, but I can't do them with a baby...although he would make a terrific audio-visual aid to pass around to the future parents...hmm.

And Marc passed his architecture exams, so he's a legit architect now! It was a long road from grad school to getting the 100s of work hours he needed and then passing eight big exams but its finally complete. Whew! Just let us know if you need some designs or childbirth classes or if you want designs for a childbirth clinic.

Speaking of that, I'm very grateful that I love the clinic where I will (hopefully) be having the baby. And I mean LUV. Its called MediFlower and its a diamond in the rough here in South Korea where most normal births are treated like major medical emergencies (sound familiar, USA?) Just the name "MediFlower" makes me hear harps and see glitter. It's nothing like the hospitals around here that, to me, all look like psych wards from the 1950s. It's a gorgeous "boutique" women's clinic and birth center. It only opened about 4 years ago and I'm so grateful its here and not too far away and that our insurance is accepted there. My doctor, Dr. Chung, is completely amazing. I may have a bit of a doctor-crush, or rather, I'm in awe of him. He's like a Korean Mister Rogers, sweaters and all. He radiates health, wellness and calm. He loves women and birth and the whole process, but not at all in a weird way. He's so chilled out and matter-of-fact about birth - a topic that strikes fear into most people. 

Yeah, he's smart.

This guy!

Photos at MediFlower of three water births and one c-section

At my last appointment I expressed a few concerns about the position of the baby and experiences I had with my other two births that I would rather not repeat. He just smiled and closed his eyes and said in his heavy Korean accent, "Live the happy life and don't worry. That's not going to happen here." And I believe him! He's attended something like 3 or 4,000 births and is a real ObGyn capable of c-sections, etc. but unless there is a true emergency he just watches and waits and lets moms do their thing, only interfering if necessary. All I hear is that he very skilled in natural birth so I feel 100% good about placing my trust in him. AND I found a doula who I love, too, so I think I have a great team. If there is anywhere I can have the birth experience I'm hoping for, its at this place with this doc and this doula. Now I just need Numero Three to cooperate with us! 

I'm now a little over 38 weeks and I can't believe how fast its going! I got all the old stuff out of bins and washed it. It's very sweet seeing and remembering the outfits the boys used to wear. The only thing I've purchased is a used K'tan carrier which will be better for the really hot summer here compared with the other carriers I have. Speaking of the hot summer, that's my biggest concern right now: how I'm going to handle the boys all summer long, sweating like a hog with a brand-new baby strapped to me. These boys have energy to burn and we don't have a yard so I'll have to be out a lot. Thank goodness we moved to this apartment and are in walking distance of things to do, but still, it would be so nice to just send them out to a yard with a kiddie pool and let them burn energy while I watch from my air-conditioned family room.

The other thing I'm anticipating with the arrival of Numero Three are issues with this boy.

A middle child if there ever was one.

Is he a mama's boy? Ohhh just a bit! I can't say that I mind because he still seems a little bit "baby" to me and I love snuggling the little bug, but I really hope he can deal with a new boy in mommy's life and not feel supremely rejected. For the last several months we've been trying to get him out of our bed and into his own big boy bed. I would love to keep him in there with us (heck, let's all pile in there) but I can't have him sleep-slapping and throat-kicking a newborn. That won't do. It has not been easy because Jonah's favorite comfort pose is shoving one or both of his arms down my shirt. He doesn't have a favorite animal or blanket or lovey. An arm down my shirt is all he needs to feel comfy and cozy. He has his own bed in the same room as Toby and he does ok, but he will still come in to my room and climb in bed with me in the middle of the night or when he wakes up in the morning. I have a feeling that jest as I'm finally drifting off to sleep after long hours awake with the baby, I will hear the pitter-patter of Jonah coming to get in bed with me and then throwing a fit (and waking the baby) when Marc tries to get him back in his own bed. This should be interesting...

We're really happy that Spring is here! We've had several nice weather weeks and all the blossoming cherry trees and flowers really improve the looks of this area. So far it hasn't been nearly as windy this Spring as it was last year with the Category 5 blowing that didn't seem like much of an improvement from Winter. The only problem is the extremely poor air quality. Beautiful weather days are usually also days when its recommended not to go outside because of pollution blowing over from China. Once again, I realize now how much I took for granted the fresh, salty sea air blowing in from the Pacific back home every day of my life for over twenty years!

I continue to have my share of ups and downs about being here. Certain things can really get on my nerves and wear me down and it doesn't help when friends leave! I know at least six people/families, who I really like, that have moved away in the last few weeks alone, including my massage therapist! And some of them had kids that my kids were friends with, too. The American community here is pretty small. Being on post feels like what I imagine living in a small town would be like. So when someone you like leaves, it puts a big dent in morale. But on the positive side, people continue to move in and I've met a lot of new friends with kids that my kids like to play with. So the experience keeps evolving. Its the little things that help when I start to feel isolated and sorry for myself - like the Easter festival, where, just like a small town, we saw a lot of people we know; when the commissary actually has everything I need in stock (this is a rare treat); when a really good song comes on the radio that reminds me of high school; when I see the boys having a great time with other kids; and when we have a good day filled with activities. And then just last week I was surprised with a baby shower! I packed a lunch thinking I was taking the boys to a picnic with a few friends and I show up to find presents, cupcakes and more friends! I never expected any kind of shower since this is my third and its another boy, but now the littlest brother doesn't have to wear only boring ol' hand-me-downs. He gets some new stuff, too! I can't believe these new friends of mine did that for me. It really makes it easier to be here when you know some good people and have a feeling of community. Those are things that hold me together and make being so far from everything more doable.

Having a snack at Eggstravaganza

Adorable diaper cake

The biggest brother eating a blue cupcake

The other big news is that Tobin started t-ball a few weeks ago. Marc has spent a lot of time playing catch and practicing hitting with him over the years and now he's very good! I think softball/baseball is his thing, just like Daddy. I guess I better learn all the rules because I will be spending a lot of time at practice and games over the years. And that's just for one boy! I wonder what the other two will be in to. Here is his first game:

You might want to get his autograph now. Its probably going to be worth a lot someday.

Third base

And, finally, here is me. Every bone and muscle in my back is about to disintegrate. The little Prince could come any day but I have a feeling I will go the full 40 weeks or more. My next blog post will likely be about the birth of Numero Three!

Positively planetary

Moving In

The movers showed up at 8am sharp on a Friday morning and I had to quickly scoot out of the house with the boys. Once the movers charge through the door they go straight to work and you better not get in their way. All at once they invade and it was very clear our life at that house was o-ver.
Along with the mover guys was a woman. Her job is to pack up the miscellaneous items in the kitchen and whatever else she finds and does the last minute clean-up of our stuff. She actually put plastic wrap on a bowl of left-over soggy cereal and packed it with the rest of our things.
The movers come in with large crates and fill them with whatever they find to start moving things out. No boxes. Once the truck was full they drove about a mile to the apartment. They removed an entire window and lined up their lift to start moving things in.

Window removed. Moving in Toby's bed.

The truck and lift

Mover riding up the lift.

He was moving really fast! Sorry it's sideways.

Receiving crates

It's getting crowded in here!

I went about the morning trying to run errands and stall as long as possible until there was nothing left to do, then we finally went to the apartment. As expected, it was pure chaos. Every move is overwhelming and this was no exception. It's that feeling of not even knowing where to begin because literally EVERYTHING needs to be put away.

Staying bundled up with all the windows open in winter.

Some of the kitchen crates.

Guest room=Staging area for random stuff.

The woman was now at the new apartment doing her job of putting things away. She generally knows where stuff should go so she started filling closets with clothes and the kitchen with kitchen stuff. By the time I got there with the boys, drawers and cabinets were already filled. Of course, none of it was where I wanted it to go, but at least it was off the floor and out of the way. Despite being pregnant and trying not to overdo it with the move, I couldn't just sit there and not get our things in order. I went to the kitchen to start unloading a bin and the tiny woman put the grip of Death on my wrist to make me stop. I don't know if it was because of my "condition" or because this was her job or both. At first I felt like, "Wait a sec, lady. Who's house is this??" but I gave in, put the stuff down and moved on to the bedroom closet to rearrange all the clothes she had already put away.

This went on through the weekend. Marc doing his thing and me doing mine while simultaneously taking care of the boys and trying to make the house as liveable as possible as quickly as possible.

By Monday I was really sick. So sick that I dare say no Maternal Auto Pilot to Ensure the Survival of my Offspring was going to kick in for me. I could barely open my eyes for a whole day. Thank goodness Marc was able to take sick leave to stay home. The next day I tried reading a book to the boys but had to stop halfway through because it was too exhausting. Did I overdo it? Probably, yes, but I just can't sit around with my feet up when my new nest is in a shambles.

Now that we've been here about 2 weeks, I have to say that I'm so glad we did this. One level is totally the way to go with young kids. I don't know how we survived a whole year with two sets of wooden stairs and no serious injuries, especially with Jonah just learning how to maneuver stairs at the beginning. It's wonderful having everything just a few steps away and although it's a large apartment, it's not overwhelming like the house. And I love the layout and location! I don't know if all Korean apartments are like this, but we have a lot of techy stuff on the walls. There is a small TV in the bathroom with a remote control mounted next to the toilet (just in case you're going to be there a while) and another TV in the kitchen which is also a screen to show when a guest is ringing at the main entrance or your front door. The doorbell sounds like a music box lullaby and continues on for about 20 seconds. And we have at least 5 remote controls that aren't even for the TV.

Truly, a King's Throne. The seat is heated and it flushes automatically. You can spray your bum clean and then let it blow dry at different levels of intensity. Only the best for discerning derrieres.

Another screen for seeing guests at the door, speaking with maintenance and probably ordering a pizza (it's all in Korean), a thermostat, and a light panel that allows you to turn on/off all the lights at once or pick the ones you want.

A knife sterilizer. Duh.

This drawer is meant to be filled with rice. With the push of a button you can dispense as much as you need. I have no use for this. Maybe I'll fill it with M&Ms.

I particularly love this. A "fancy" wall sconce with a bare spiral bulb held up by a screw. No matching cover to hide the ugliness of the bulb. No shade to soften the brightness.

This is a typical elevated platform to put a low table for the family to sit around on mats. We made it a play area for the boys. Yea for storage drawers underneath!

A couple of minor "bummers" about the apartment are the floors and the shocking lack of outlets. The floors must be nothing more than stained balsa wood. Drop a Lego and you have a dent and a permanent scratch. And Heavens-to-Betsy there is a speck of sand under the wheel of the vacuum because that speck is going to leave a huge scar on this delicate floor. We pretty much have to accept the fact that the floors are going to be destroyed by the time we move out of here. They also show everything. I think its partly due to the fact that we live in a rural, farm area that's already very dusty and dirty, because our floors accumulate so much dirt. We don't wear shoes in the house, but somehow there are always piles of dust and debris everywhere. As for the outlets, there are plenty of the Korean 220v outlets, but only one set of US 110v outlets in each major room, not including bathrooms and halls. Its a good thing I don't have a big hair-styling regimen because I'd have to do it in the kitchen. Since all of our plug-in stuff is 110 we have to move heavy converter boxes around when we want to turn on a lamp/washing machine/vacuum cleaner. It's not the end of the world, but kind of a pain.

Anyway, I think this was definitely a smart move. Even if we're only here for one more year and have to move again, I'm glad we did it. We're about 90% finished with putting everything away and it already feels like home - again!

Moving! and One Year Anniversary!

Me: We're moving again!
You: Eh? I don't hear so good outta that ear. It sounded like you said you're moving again. Not possible.
Me: Yes. Again.
You:

Whaaaaat???

Yep, that's the face I made, too. Another move??? We just got here a year ago! And we moved to DC a year before that! Ok, ok, don't get any ideas. We're not leaving Korea just yet. We're only moving about a mile away. Our original reason for thinking about switching homes (a possible change in Marc's job) has already changed from when the idea first came up, but all the other reasons are still there and, I think, good enough to take on the blood, sweat and tears of another move.

Just in case you haven't heard about this a sufficient number of times, now would be when I talk about the other six addresses we've had in the past eight years. This new place will be number eight in just shy of nine years. Toby will have lived in 6 different homes before his sixth birthday! You'd think we enjoyed moving, but it's not that at all. Every move has been necessary (to our minds anyway) because of some job or other situation. In DC we moved to another place directly across the street nine months after arriving. It was a pain but I'm so glad we did it. I didn't regret it for one second. Once again, this move seems to be the right thing to do. This is our life right now. We move more than the Army families we're surrounded by.

We're leaving our sort of American-style, McMansion neighborhood of single-family homes to an apartment complex of four buildings. It's pretty popular with other Americans around here, and Korean families live there, too. We actually looked at a unit there when we first arrived last year. At the time, it was a little too...shall we say Ko-Ko-Korean for me? The dark, cold outer hallways, the rice paper on certain doors, the ornate fixtures and crazy wallpaper - it was too much "different" all at once. But now, a year later, I get it, it doesn't bother me, and I can see the other benefits of living there. I could kick myself for not picking that unit a year ago because maybe it could have saved us this move, but as much as I like to torture myself, I just didn't know. This is the issue we deal with whenever we move to a new area. We don't know what we don't know. This was the situation in DC. We moved, site unseen, to a town home because we were living in LA at the time, and the place ended up being filthy and disgusting owned by a horrible, careless man. How could we have known that? So we moved across the street and everything was better. A year ago I didn't know that this apartment was in walking distance to so many great places or that it had a huge playground and dozens of other kids who live there. So much is learned about an area by actually living there for several months, talking to people and figuring things out. I really like our house, but there is nothing to walk to, no playgrounds, only one other child and its too much space for us. If we're going to be here for another two years, we might as well start over in a place we think is better. With Numero Three coming in May I need more options for activities with the boys and it would be great to be able to step out our front door and have a playground full of kids and other places to walk to.

Things I'm looking forward to:
No stairs! The new place is one level. Whewww! Again, Numero Three, not to mention the safety factor.
Simplifying. Again. Numero. Three.
Walkability. It's close to the town, the jumpy houses that we frequent, restaurants, parks, etc.
The fabulous playground and bike paths at the complex.
There are lots of other kids who live there, American and Korean. Right now we only have one girl in our neighborhood. We love her and will miss being neighbors, but the boys could use more friends close by.
It's still really close to the Army base where we spend a lot of time.
Less space to clean and it forces us to be more organized rather than spread out.
Hopefully making friends with our new neighbors and getting together for dinners, play dates or just helping each other out.

Things I will miss from our current crib:
It's beautiful. The inside anyway. I haven't seen any other house around here with nicer fixtures, finishes and minimal decor. Everything is neutral, simple and modern, which is almost impossible to find here. The apartment, though not nearly as ornate as some I've seen, does have some questionable drapes, wallpaper and crystal teardrop sconces that I could really do without, but will try to ignore.
We have tons of storage space. Maybe too much.
My enormous kitchen and walk-in pantry :(
It feels like home because its the first place we've lived here.
It's nice having a garage and being able to park at our front door. At the new place we will have to park in a parking garage and take an elevator, which is a lot less convenient with kids and all the stuff we'll have to bring up and down, probably in multiple trips.
Being able to send Toby outside to play by himself or with his friend next door. It's wonderful.
The neighborhoody feel, especially in the summer.

I'm sure that once we get settled in to the apartment I'll find more things that I really like about it and more things I miss about our house. There are definitely going to be some pluses and minuses.

My favorite part about moving, although it's a lot of work, is getting rid of unwanted junk. By now, you'd think we'd be professional minimalists, but somehow we always have more stuff to get rid of. At our new place we won't have nearly the amount of storage space as we do now, so we really have to condense. My least favorite part about moving? All the miscellaneous stuff that you still need but don't know where to put. There is always a box of this stuff that sits around for weeks until you can find a home for everything.

Of course I don't really know, but I hope we're doing the right thing. I do think about how all this moving is affecting the boys, but, fortunately, I think they're still at an age where home is wherever Mom, Dad and their toys are. To them, moving into a new place feels like a fun adventure, like staying at a hotel until it feels like home. And at least this time only the house is changing. School, activities and friends will remain the same. I do hope that we get to a point in our lives where we're not moving so often, like once the boys are in grade school and making real friendships based on more than the fact that some other kid is also wearing a Superman shirt. It would be really nice to live somewhere of our choosing (not solely for job location) and lay down some roots. I can hardly imagine.

Luckily we'll have movers to help pack and move us, but there is still a lot of work to be done. Wish me luck with the sorting, cleaning, reorganizing and settling into Home #8 while prego with two boys in the middle of Winter. It's just another day in the life...

Speaking of just another day...TODAY IS OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!! I cannot BELIEVE we've been here for a whole year! It's gone by so quickly and we've discovered so much about this very different world that we live in. I'm really glad that the first part is over. The first month was brutal, I hated it and I remember the dreadful feelings very clearly. I couldn't imagine having to stay here. But a year has already passed and we've made friends, the boys have nice things to do, we have a good life and there is still so much more to discover in Korea. Besides doing really well at work, Marc has made a huge effort to learn Hangul. He can sound out the letters and knows a lot of phrases. I can still only say the same three phrases I knew when we arrived, but of course I haven't made any effort whatsoever. And here I'm supposed to be the linguaphile in this relationship! I don't know...Hangul isn't really "my bag". I do have to give myself some credit though. As someone who is exceedingly impaired when it comes to way-finding, I have managed to get around near and far without a GPS or being able to read any street signs and without getting permanently lost. I've also carved out a nice family life and tried to make the best of our current scenario which is by far the most different from anywhere I've ever lived. (Self pat on back) I have no idea how much longer we'll be here or any idea where we're going next, but for now, this is working out pretty well. Cheers!

My Parents in Korea

On Christmas Day my parents flew across the Pacific to visit us here in lil' ol' Pyeongtaek, S.K. and Marc drove up to Incheon to retrieve them. Actual Christmas Day was just another day for us since we wanted to wait to all be together for the gift-opening explosion. Let me tell you, this was a long day with the boys anticipating their arrival. They've only asked me about it every day for the last three months. The reception was just as I expected - giggles, squealing, Toby talking a mile-a-minute, and lots of hugging and kissing.

Reunited!

Inspecting the robot monster pajamas before bed.

The next day we hung out, let the folks rest, did some baking, last minute wrapping and this stuff...

Cozy reading with Nonny

This is always a big favorite. Papa Bob lays down, then one of the boys lays on top of him and they pretend to sleep. (Muther is napping on the couch)

This is the big favorite with Nonny - cozy, cocoa-sipping under a blanket.

Friday was our Christmas morning! We managed to sleep in to a decent hour then came downstairs to see what Santa brought. Toby kept asking if Santa comes to Korea and how he would get in since we don't have a chimney. I told him of course he does and that I'd leave the back door cracked, which I did. Christmas was a wild success! The boys got so many nice things that they really love and are still playing with two whole weeks later. Can you believe it?

We even had a blazing fire cracklin' on the TV

"This one spells T-O-B-Y!"

Trying on his toe socks

Matching Spider Man jammies. What could be more thrilling?!

Toby has a Buzz Lightyear and Jonah got Woody.

We spent the day playing with the new toys and cooking. That evening our sweet neighbors came over for a belated Christmas Dinner.

BRAG ALERT! I just have to say that my parents are seriously geniuses with the boys. As soon as they get together, my parents transform into child-whisperers and completely take over the entertainment, well-being, feeding and sleeping of the boys. I wouldn't have to lift a finger or ever get out of bed if I didn't want to. My Dad is up at the crack of dawn every day to receive any child that decides to get up early and trot downstairs. The very next day after they arrived my mom started potty training Jonah.** Oh, believe me, I tried! We have read books, tried on undies, discussed the benefits of dryness, sat on the pot and observed the older brother for months, all to no avail. Then my mom swoops in one day, tells him the plan and he just does it. I'm not kidding, the child was trained in less than 24 hours for both #1 AND #2. Night time training has had a few set backs but full daytime training and only one diaper per 24 hours is more than I ever expected. In the first two weeks he's only had two accidents, but both were totally understandable and my fault for not checking in with him soon enough. Who's a big boy wearing underpants??

THIS KID!

I don't know if it was the first or second full day they were here, but my mom took both boys upstairs and somehow got both of them to sleep in the same bed within 5 minutes. When I've tried that, it's nothing but poking, yelling, fighting and laughing and no sleeping. She said she just touched their faces and they went out like lights. WHAT??? The only explanation is Nonny Magic.

Papa Bob also possesses magical powers. He gets down on the floor, lets the boys climb all over him, and shows them fascinating YouTube videos of space shuttles taking off and baby elephants splashing in the water. He also speaks Kid. He knows what to say and how to say it to really communicate on their level and make them laugh and feel big and important. He's always had this special power with kids. He takes a sincere interest in them and they flock to him.

Mini-Bob?

There's no such thing as too much lovin'! (Poor Muther is still snoozing on the couch)

Stickers with Nonny. So sweet.

As I said, I wouldn't have to lift a finger if I didn't want to. They can and would take over everything from bathing, feeding, napping, entertainment and even cooking and cleaning. They roll up their sleeves and just get right into it. It's such a great feeling leaving the house and not having one single concern about them knowing what to do or something going wrong. My boys are truly lucky to have grandparents like these! And Marc and I get a nice break, too. We scheduled all sorts of appointments because we finally had babysitters!

Nothing relaxes me more than someone playing with my hair. Thanks, Mom!

Despite the cold weather, we got out and did a few fun things. We took them to our favorite restaurant, Hwa Hwa, where they had a sampling of Korean BBQ. We went to a traditional village where people still live and work, a pro volleyball game and also to a Buddhist Temple. Even our local grocery/department store, Lotte Mart, was a unique cultural experience.

Hwa Hwa. Its chaotic dining but soooo good.

Gakwonsa Temple

At the outdoor market trying the Cinnamon Pancake of Insanity

This wasn't the only time that a gaggle of Korean kids swarmed around my Dad. They wanted to know where he was from and practice their English. So cute.

A freezing rice paddy walk with the neighbors.

At Toby's first basketball practice.

Our days were mostly filled with just hanging around and enjoying each other's company. I got some naps, we made nice dinners together, and the boys got to spend a lot of quality time with their grandparents - something they don't get to do very often.

Saying goodbye at the bus station.

Come back soon!!

**Muther will be offering her "Potty Training in 24 Hours" seminar in most major cities! Call 888-GO-POTTY for tickets and information!!