Doren's Diagnosis

It all started back in Korea when Doren had some blood work done and the docs discovered he was anemic. A few weeks later we moved to Germany and once we got settled in we checked in with a new doctor about the anemia and she discovered something else in his blood that set off some red flags. So we gave them a stool sample and there were more red flags. She referred us to a German pediatric gastroenterologist and that's where he got his first colonoscopy and EGD (down the throat) earlier this year. They knew he had some kind of IBD, or Inflammatory Bowel Disease, not to be confused with IBS, which is Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but they didn't know what type for sure. They gave us a medication that was so bitter and horrible that no amount of yogurt or honey could mask the awfulness and he wouldn't take it. Even if he had managed to swallow it I'm sure he would have vomited it right back up. We (meaning me) also had to give him a horse-sized suppository every night which was later shown not to reach the location of the inflammation because it was higher up. So these were not working solutions. A few months later we heard about a new American specialist moving here with the Air Force so we made an appointment with him because 1) second opinion, 2) his office is closer, 3) obviously easier to communicate with, and 4) maybe he had access to other medications that a 2-year old can tolerate. They took more blood and more stool samples and it was enough for this new doctor to want to do his own EGD/colonoscopy to see for himself what was going on inside Doren's intestines. The day before the procedure, and the same day my parents and grandma flew in, Doren was on a clear liquid diet and the next morning I took him to the hospital early in the morning. Of course nothing ever happens on schedule in hospitals so the poor boy had to wait two more hours than scheduled. He was crying and miserable and asking for food and water but I couldn't give him any. It was so heartbreaking and honestly made me think of all the refugees traveling for miles with nothing to feed their children. But unlike those poor children at least I knew Doren's suffering would be over after a few more hours, so it really wasn't so bad.

Anyway...long story long! They did the procedure and determined that Doren does, in fact, have an IBD. He has Ulcerative Colitis which is Latin for 'boy makes copious mud". It's a disease that causes inflammation in the rectum and colon and, according to my understanding, is caused by something off in the immune system. The only symptom he shows is diarrhea but not like the kind you get when have food poisoning and you're on the toilet thirty times in one day with nothing but poo-water shooting out. Thankfully, Doren (only) poops anywhere from two to five times a day and it's either runny split-pea soup or like canned dog food. That's as solid as it ever gets. There you have it. Every day for many months earlier this year I had to take his pants outside, sometimes more than once a day, to be hosed off because his diapers could not contain the volume. There were many impromptu baths. There were many pants.

At the follow-up appointment the doctor explained more about what to expect, prescribed a medication that is, hallelujah, flavorless and suggested we order this book to understand more about what's going on.

I can't wait to cozy up with this fun Fall read!

He also told us that Doren needs to be on a Paleo diet. Oh.

I've made lots of Paleo stuff over the years just to (hang on, gotta change another loaded diaper...) make something without regular white flour and sugar. Like, instead of regular muffins I would make Paleo muffins to at least cut out that amount of white stuff from our diet. For those who don't know what it is, a Paleo diet is basically eating only what hunter-gatherers would have eaten before cultivating the land. This includes meat, vegetables, fruit, nuts, seeds, roots aaaaaaand that's about it. What is not allowed are any dairy products, refined sugar, processed oils, legumes (including peanuts), and any grains including wheat, oats, rice, corn, quinoa and all of the lesser known grains. So that's a lot of no-no's. There are many counter-arguments to Paleo, for example that broccoli didn't exist ages ago, etc., but whatever. This is what the doc is recommending and I think it's good that he wants to work with the diet and not just medication alone.

When I think about it, the Paleo diet is actually more restrictive than Vegan, gluten-free and dairy-free combined. At first I thought, "Well I guess I'll switch him to gluten-free pasta and cereals." (Leaning into microphone) WRONG. It's all grains. No pasta or any kind of warm or cold breakfast cereal. This means that literally everything he eats, unless it's a piece of fruit, has to be made from scratch or prepared by this gal. Obviously I have to cook meat and he's not old enough to chomp on raw vegetables...well, he could but in his case he just sucks the juice out of the carrot and spits out the pulp. I mean, it's a good thing - cooking whole foods from scratch, but, geez, as if I weren't in the kitchen enough already. I can't imagine how this would work if I also had a paying job to manage. It's so time-consuming and something always has to be cooking.

I don't know how long he will need this strict of a diet, so for now there goes "easy spaghetti night" and German Dinner. Sob! Wasn't the whole point of that so that I wouldn't have to think of "what's for dinner" every single night? I mean, the rest of us can eat the other stuff but I guess it would be good if we all ate a little less bread. Doren will eat whatever I give him but if he sees the rest of us eating something different he will let his displeasure be known loudly! He was wants his food plus what the other guy has. He sees all!

The cruel irony is that bread is basically the only food group in Germany. Everything might be closed but, (pounding fist on desk) dammit, the bakeries will be open!! We go to the bakery two to four times per week and he knows we're there and always asks for a piece of whatever I bought. How do the Germans eat bread all day everyday without having problems?! I'm pretty sure food sensitivities are against the law here. I've never heard of anyone in the boys' schools who is gluten-free or dairy-free. The idea! Honestly, not able to eat bread IN GERMANY. It's like not being able to eat rice in Korea, which he can't have either. Gone are the days of a quick bowl of cereal on a rushed morning or a handful of pretzels or cheese for a snack. You can't even buy Paleo stuff off the shelf like gluten-free stuff. Any Paleo to-go bar is just nuts and seeds and Doren is a little too young for that serious of chewing.

Fortunately, there are a ton of Paleo blogs and recipes online, so one of the first things I made were cookies because who doesn't like cookies? The ingredients were banana, avocado, egg, baking powder, cocoa powder and honey.

Mmmm. Soil.
They look the same going in as coming out.

Doren had two or three during the day and on his last one I noticed he also had a full diaper. As I laid him down to change his pants he started spewing black out of his mouth and the inside of his diaper was black. Apparently not these cookies.

I also made Sweet Potato Banana Blueberry Mini Muffins, which were a hit, and this Sweet Potato Bread. The key to Paleo is always to have a cooked sweet potato waiting in the fridge.

Sweet potato "bread".
More like flavorless damp sponge.

Calling this "bread" is really stretching it. So far everything is kind of bland, mushy, cakey and grainy, but he seems to like it. This morning the older boys had Cream of Wheat but Doren had porridge of banana, cinnamon, coconut and the rest of that cooked sweet potato blended and warmed up. I should probably give that to the brothers but it may take some convincing.

As far as diseases go it could be much worse so please don't feel the least bit sorry for us. It can be a serious condition if it isn't dealt with so I'm grateful it was caught at such a young age. But that's actually one of the things that perplexes the doctors - that he's so young to have this. He's growing fine and not showing any other signs of problems that are usually associated with UC, so hopefully we'll prevent any further damage with the diet and meds. They are still "looking for the zebra" though.

Nice chatting with you but it's been well over twenty minutes. It's high time I get back to the cutting board.
Raise a glass to solid poops in our future!

Grandparents and Barcelona

'Tis a sad day after a wonderful two weeks. My parents and Grandma flew in to see us and they just left this morning. My Grandma now has more freedom to roam the earth after years of taking care of her parents and then my Grandpa, who passed away in June. As soon as they walked in the door it was a non-stop two week jubilee of love, giggles and snuggling.

It's fortunate that they came when they did because the very next morning I had to take Doren in for a procedure early in the morning, Marc had to be at work and the boys still had two more days of school. Without batting a jet-lagged eye my mom got them off to their schools and picked them up while I was gone all day.

Poor boy recovering from another endoscopy. The hardest part was not being able to feed him anything but liquid for over 24 hours.

A few hours later he was all better and it was more of this. Doren loves Papa Bob so much. 

<3

Muther is always up for a craft.

So many lovings.

At a Jelly Market

We went to Gartenschau to see all the pretty flowers.

We also went to some castle ruins and had lunch in a cozy little German restaurant.

Another reason it was great they came when they did is because Marc had a business trip in Barcelona Monday through Wednesday, so I took advantage of three free babysitters, just like Momcation, and flew out to meet him on Wednesday for two nights. Fancy! This is one of the many things I love about Europe. In the same time it takes to fly from San Diego to San Francisco (and probably less money) I can fly to an entirely different country.

I couldn't get over how, besides the obvious, everything is so much easier traveling without the boys. For example, I took the train to the airport and had to make two transfers. There was plenty of time between each transfer and all I had to do was walk to the other side of the platform. When I have the boys and stroller and bags the transfers are three minutes long and on the opposite side of the station requiring two rides on an over-crowded elevator, if one even exists. When I got to the airport I sauntered right through security because there was no line. With the boys the line is always a mile long. My gate was one of the first in the terminal and the plane wasn't nearly full. With the boys, the gate is the last one in the terminal and the plane is always over-booked. I can't explain this phenomena! It's just the way it is!

For a few weeks before the trip I was trying to get back into Spanish mode. I took six years in high school and college and used to be pretty conversational. But now I'm so used to trying to think of everything in German that all the Spanish has flown out of my head! Simple sentences that used to come so easily are now mottled with German, like "Me gustaría eine Flasche agua, bitte." Oy! So I spent the flight reading and listening to whatever I could to try to remember stuff. I didn't appreciate it when I was learning it in school and now I absolutely love it!

Arriving in Barcelona was thrilling with all the Spanish faces and visions of olives dancing in my head. Ahh, Barthelona...Barthelona. Hearing the language and seeing the words on signs, even though I forget a lot, are still easier on my eyes than German. I think it's safe to say I was grinning like Goofy walking through the airport, being so excited to have a little break from the boys and my normal days. If anyone is going to Barcelona I recommend the Aerobús. Its €5.90 to multiple stops in the city, it leaves every five minutes in both directions and you don't have to mess with the Metro. Fun fact: the bathrooms in the Barcelona airport all smell exactly like a Caramel Macchiato with a hint of orange zest.

Marc met me at the stop and we waded into the city streets. Yes, the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain...except for the two days I was there. It was clear before and clear after, but they got their year's worth of rain when they got me. Not a drizzle or normal rain, but the big, fat, sideways kind that soaks you no matter what you do. And, sure enough, the rain boots I had for ten years disintegrated a few weeks ago so I was on the hunt for wellies. But first, dinner...

I know, Mexican in Spain, but we had to because our cute friends from Croatian Vacation told us we had to go to this place. Oh, sí. ¡Sí!

The best margarita and street tacos EVER at El Pachuco.

Everyone has a lot of plants and laundry hanging from their balconies, which no one bothered to take in even though Niagara Falls was coming out of the sky.

Our "hotel" was, um, nothing to blog about. The only memorable thing was that the walls were so thin we might as well have had a Kleenex dangling between us and the neighbors because we could hear every single word clearly. If you must know, they were Americans talking about Warren Buffett paying his taxes and the CEO of Wells Fargo stepping down.

Oh my goodness, this waffle. I couldn't tell if the sauce was garlicky or caramelly. It was so amazing.

My cute little coffee, except I could have drank like five more.

Ruins found under the city.

We're assuming they manufacture suppositories here.

Another one of Marc's artsy shots.

Who knew Barcelona was right on the beach? I didn't! I thought you had to drive an hour or so, but it's right there on the Mediterranean. There were even some pretty decent waves and lots of surfers. We had a nice morning with no rain so we did a lot of walking and ended up at this beach which I imagine is pretty crowded in the summer.

Moments before the deluge. We hid under a bridge but still got wet because of the sideways rain.

Earlier in the day we walked to La Sagrada Familia to go inside but found out you have to buy tickets in advance and come back at whatever time slot they give you. We returned at 6pm sharp. The exterior is so detailed and the inside is much bigger than it looks on the outside.

Definitely the most unique, spectacular church I've ever been to.

I already really love stained glass so the best part of the whole thing for me is that the colors are in rainbow order. Nice touch, Gaudi!

A must-see

After the tour we had plans to meet one of the guys from Marc's class and his wife, who also live in Germany, for tapas. After Mexican and Vietnamese meals I definitely wanted to have the tapas experience. It was raining really hard and we had a long way to walk. We went into every shoe store we passed during the day and no one had rainboots in my size 41. (Fyi, apparently the only shoe size available in Spain and Germany is a 38. I've seen it with my own eyes.) Despite having an umbrella, I blame my big feet for the fact that I no longer needed to avoid the puddles and river of water flowing down the sidewalk. My shoes were completely filled with water. But we still really enjoyed meeting the other couple, drinking wine and trying lots of tapas. Hopefully no one noticed my shoes were off or the puddle of water under my chair.

We left early the next morning but our flight was delayed, then delayed again, and then rerouted a longer way. We also had train problems because of more delays. I guess it isn't always easier without the boys. Its a good thing they weren't with us for all of that. A lot of Spanish came back to me and when I returned to Germany I found myself saying "Sí" to people and "Eine Kaffee mit Sahne, por favor." How do jet-setting Europeans keep it straight?!

The family met us at the train station with the boys in mustaches. Even though I was gone only two nights Doren looked like he either didn't recognize me or was so upset he couldn't even try to smile. Gee whiz!

It's nice to see you, too, Doren.

My 84 year old Grandma walked four miles and could have kept going. She's amazing! 

She has more energy than me for sure!

Thank you for coming, Mom, Dad and Busha! We loved our time together and have so many sweet memories. XO

Grundschule

By the way, this is my seventieth post. It's only taken me three and half years! Thank you, eight readers, for coming along on this journey thus far. Hooray!

My fab friend, S, and I were enjoying a mom date at the local ice cream place when we got to talking about schools. Somehow we started talking about the German school process and she thought it was all fascinating and said I should write a blog about it. I don't know if anyone else will find it as interesting but here goes. I talked a little about it in a blog from one year ago when Tobin started first grade here.

Just like with first grade, I received a paper (below) with the full list of everything they need for the year. The top portion is all the academic books. The lower half is all the art supplies. Since you can't buy these books off the shelf, you take the list to any bookstore, or in our case, the little stationery/passport photo shop in town. They can either just order the books or they can order everything on the list and give it all to you in a bundle so you don't have to do any school shopping. Last year my neighbor helped me find all the art supplies at a regular store so all I needed to do was order the books. This year we already had many of the art supplies so I took the list to the little shop and two weeks later we had the books. All of the books and supplies cost about 200 Euro.

This is all the academic stuff. Writing, vocabulary, math, notebooks, and practice workbooks.

Plastic covers

Then we put the thin writing notebooks in the plastic covers. Yellow for German. Purple for religion. Blue for math, etc.

We had some leftover writing notebooks from first grade but I had to get different ones specifically for second grade. The lines are slightly smaller for second grade but the only major difference is that one has a 1 on it and the other has a 2. We easily could have just reused the first grade ones but that's not what you do. I also thought it was funny when I went into the shop in the middle of first grade to buy him a new pencil and they asked me what grade he's in, because it actually matters. It's all very specific!

A pencil case with the basics. Notice the large, three-sided silver pencil on the left studded with plastic circles for gripping. It makes me laugh at how age-appropriate writing implements are so fancy now. A chubby blue pencil just wouldn't do. And of course three-sided ergonomic colored pencils.

Another case for art supplies

Filling his book cubby on the Friday before school started. 

His art cubby

For art he needs a large folder to store his masterpieces, a large pad of painting paper, watercolors, clay, pastels, a sponge, color pencils, and numbers 8, 10, 12, and 14 of "bristle" paint brushes and numbers 4, 8 and 10 of "hair" paint brushes. Wouldn't one big fat paintbrush suffice for a seven-year old?? Apparently not!

I love the simplicity of the classroom

He also needs a gym bag with pants, a shirt and indoor-only sport shoes.

The second grade class schedule.

I'm not exactly sure what the process is for elementary school in the US nowadays, but here I get the impression that everything is the same for everyone across the country. This is what you do in first grade, this is what you do in second grade, etc. down the line. I'm not positive but it doesn't seem like there is much teachers-making-up-lesson-plans kind of flexibility. It seems like the country is unified in how things are done. I don't know...I could be wrong.

One (of many) things that I absolutely love is that Tobin is in the same classroom with the same teacher and kids as first grade. She already knows their personalities and learning styles so they can skip the whole weird getting-to-know-you phase. They're already comfortable with her and each other. I guess this would stink if the child didn't like the teacher, but fortunately we LOOOOOVE Mrs. Beautiful.

Last year when he started first grade the school gave us the option of Tobin attending GTS (Ganztagschule), or full-day school, until 4:00 after the normal school hours. First graders are done for the day at 12:15. GTS is there mostly for dual-income families who need extra childcare later in the day, but anyone can opt to do it and its free. We weren't sure about it at first because it seemed like such a long day. The school gets a certain amount of money from the government for each child in GTS, so once you sign up you can't get out of it because the school has already received the money. We ultimately decided to do it because we thought it would give him more time to get to know other kids and have an opportunity to learn the language outside of the class time. Plus he gets so bored at home and ends up fighting with Jonah. At 12:15 he and the other GTS kids had lunch in the cafeteria. It's required that he buy the lunch, but I don't mind because it's cooked from scratch every morning and it means all I have to do is pack a snack. Then they play outside doing whatever for a long time. After that there's different options for what they want to do like ukulele, pottery, and cooking, which changes throughout the year, and there is time allotted for doing homework together. So it worked out really well for us because everyday when I picked him up he was dirty and tired from all the playing and I really think it helped him learn German a lot faster. GTS was Monday-Thursday but not on Fridays so the pick up time was 12:15 when the other first graders got out. Now that he's in second grade the pick up time on Fridays is 1:15.

He FINALLY has two little teeth popping through on top. Maybe we'll have some front teeth by Christmas.

Jonah would be going into American Kindergarten this year, but has one more year of German Kindergarten which is more like preschool until age six. The big deal school event here is first grade, not Kindergarten. The oldest kids (Vorschulkinder) at the Kindergarten get separated sometimes to do "extra" things with the teachers like practicing writing, special field trips and I don't know what else. I like that there isn't a big push to read so early. First grade is when they need to start recognizing words, sounding them out and writing.

This picture reminds me of the holes. The patched holes have holes. These boys go through pants and socks like I go through chapstick and coffee. Its ridiculous. So much for handing anything down to Doren.

The first day back to school went fine, but I've already made one (almost two) blunders as #thatcluelessmom. At the end of last year Mrs.Beautiful gave each of the kids a tote bag that said something like Summer Vacation Chatter Bag. I thought, "Ok, whatever. Nice bag." It wasn't until the night before school started that I caught wind that you're supposed to fill the bag with memories of the summer break. Some parent on the chat group (whatever you call it) said something about "thanks for the reminder about the Chatter Bag" which thankfully clued me in. The only object we had from summer memories is a beach towel we bought that said CROATIA on it so that went in the bag. Whew! He was almost the only kid to show up with nothing to show to the class! These are the things that drive me nuts. I don't know what I don't know and I don't want to be that clueless foreign mom!

Bag? Chatter?

The real #thatcluelessmom fail happened yesterday on the very first day of school. In first grade the normal non-GTS time to get out of school is 12:15. Second graders get out at 1:15. Like I said, I will be picking him up at 1:15 on Fridays when there is no GTS. Since GTS doesn't start until Wednesday this week I assumed that the first two days of school would get out at 1:15, right? So as I was getting the younger boys ready to leave the house at 12:50 who comes walking across the lawn but Tobin. I quickly found out that he actually got out at 12:15, waited around for twenty minutes and then decided to just walk home himself. He's never walked home alone before. It's a little over half a mile down a hill with some streets to cross. I probably would have been arrested in America and my children would have spent the night in Child Protective Services because of a seven year old walking through a town by himself, but fortunately here it's perfectly normal for even younger children to walk by themselves. No doubt he passed some elderly gentleman on the street who patted his head and said, "Good lad. Now run along." So it wasn't what I intended for sure, but I'm glad he knew what to do like waiting for the walking light and using crosswalks and that he felt really pleased with himself.

This morning the church bells were bonging for the new first graders. Although it's a secular school, they still start the year with a church service. Last year it was at the Catholic church and this year at the Protestant. I guess they're keeping it friendly. Tobin was part of the welcoming group when the Principal spoke in the gym. He sang a song and played the ukulele which I have yet to hear him do. When I picked him up at 12:15 all the fresh, new, dressed-up first graders were leaving with their parents and grandparents who were, once again, cradling the precious Schultüten* like they were newborn babies.



*see link above from last year

Stuttgart

Last weekend the boys and I took the train down to Stuttgart to see Marc. He's getting close to the end of a six-month project there. He comes home Wednesday nights and weekends but last week he had a Friday off, so instead of him coming home, we went there to see the city for the first time. He's been rooming with another guy who has a sweet apartment in the heart of the city. Everything you could possibly need is within just a few blocks. I love great locations! I woke up each morning to the smell of the bakery right down stairs.

So the boys and I took the train two hours south to Stuttgart. If you've been reading my blog you know how hard it is traveling by plane with Doren. It's completely awful! Trains are only slightly easier because he has more room to move around, but still not quite enough for his level of independence. Just two hours of dealing with him on a train and I'm done. DONE FOR THE DAY. He climbs on the seat in front of him and stands on the window ledge. Of course he slips down and hits his chin and screams despite my constantly trying to pull him down and tell him its a bad idea. He just climbs back up, smiles his devilish smile and jumps on the seats until he hits his head again. Other passengers get up and change seats because he's so loud and obnoxious. If there was a seatbelt to keep him in his seat he would either figure out a way to get it off or scream so loud for so long that other passengers would probably pick us up and throw us from the moving train. It's so exhausting trying to deal with him, but I kept telling myself, "Just one more hour. Just thirty more minutes. Just ten more minutes." When Marc finally met us on the platform I rolled the stroller in his general direction and threw my hands up. Stick a fork in me! I'm done!!

As soon as we left the station, and I could decompress from the traveling stress, I immediately fell in love with Stuttgart. It's such a nice city! It's hard to pinpoint exactly what I liked about it - it had a different vibe from Berlin and Munich, both of which I also really like. I think I could see myself living there more than the other two cities. There were gorgeous water fountains everywhere, beautiful plazas and enchanting city parks. The hilly neighborhoods reminded us of the West Hills in Portland. There were so many cute shops I would have liked to go in but didn't even bother trying with three kids and a big stroller.

Here are a bunch of pictures from the weekend, courtesy of Marc...

At a little street fair

This was supposed to be a really cute family picture, like maybe Christmas photo material, but it was too bright to open our eyes for even a second.

Oh well.

I really liked this fountain at a permanent indoor marketplace.

Uddorrrs!

Untitled

One of many awesome playgrounds we visited.

Morning meditation on mischief strategies.

"I'm ready to begin."

Doren is tucked in the back seat. Finally! The oldest can help to contain his brothers.

We climbed to the top of this tower to see the view.

I'm not afraid of heights but once it started swaying Doren and I went back down.

On one of the days we went to a huge playground within an immense city park. There were so many neat things for kids to do. As I sat there watching them, it struck me how many different types of people were there. I heard Spanish, French, Russian, Chinese and who knows what else. There were Middle Easterners and Africans in hijab. There were other Americans of every race. And kids of every ethnicity were also speaking German. At one point the boys were spinning on this thing with kids representing four different continents! With all the turmoil in the world I love how a playground can bring everyone together. It's just kids playing with other kids.

They were spinning on this thing for over an hour dragging their hands in the muddy water. Jonah fell off at least twice and was completely splattered in mud. It was too easy to laugh in his face when he came to me asking for a wipee. LOL

"Mommy! Why do we have to keep walking evwee-wayur?!"

The face

At another rad playground

A really popular ice cream window at the top of a hill.

Doren's Chocolate Blue Steele

They don't seem to have any trouble running around a playground for hours, but walking is too hard!

So many stairs

The streetcar system is so efficient.

Germany pulling a Korea

Are you up to something, Dorito Burrito?

That's what I thought.

We went to a store similar to an REI and found more fun stuff to do in there.

When Jonah isn't pouting he looks like this.
I swear I'm not mad! It's just my RBF flaring up! This is proof that I really don't know what my face is doing until I see a candid picture of myself.

Watching the action on the street from the apartment with Marc's roommate.

I really like our village and I've gotten used to the greater area, but I must say I'm pretty jealous of the Americans whose jobs are in Stuttgart or other really nice cities. Our area is kind of the armpit of Germany...but as far as armpits go, it's still one of the nicest, cleanest, prettiest armpits around! It's just not somewhere that anyone would intentionally travel. I doubt our counterparts in Stuttgart would ever come here for the weekend to "check it out". But, hey, it's still Germany and still really lovely and I'm glad there are so many nice places to visit within just a few hours. Stuttgart is on my Yes list!