What's the Story, Korea?

Since I can't read Hangul (yet), my eyes naturally drift toward anything I see in English. I keep looking at all the English signs around here, tilt my head to the left and wonder...whyyyy? Why did they not consult me or any other native English speaker first? You know there are a lot of us here!

Koreans like to use English words for various things - store names, prints on t-shirts, phrases in store windows, etc. The English is almost always totally wrong or at least a little off. I definitely don't want to sound like I'm teasing them for their sometimes poor English. This is Korea, after all. And heaven knows, I can say all of two words in Hangul, probably incorrectly, and I'm living in their country, hoping, and sometimes expecting them to speak my language. But they go as far as putting something in PRINT (expensive billboard ads, magazine ads, professionally made banners, etc) and its just plain wrong. I don't understand why they print stuff in English anyway. Not very many people can speak or read English well enough to understand what it's supposed to say, so why write it English, AND (holding up index finger) FURTHERMORE! a lot of what we see printed in English in magazines is, obviously, meant for speakers of English, so why not get it right? Why not simply ask a native English speaker if their motto or store name or phrase in an advertisement makes any sense before they spend the money? It could be that they feel embarrassed to have to ask, but isn't it more embarrassing to have a permanent sign that doesn't make sense? There. I've said my piece.

Now, we are guilty of the same thing in America. Correct or incorrect, words printed in French just look better somehow even though most of us don't know what they say or if it makes sense. I'm thinking of printed baby clothes, home decor, vintage framed prints, garden signs and plant markers, kitchen decor...all with pretty French script is cuter, nicer and fancier. It just is. Which restaurant sounds nicer? Aux Deux Canards or Two Ducks? Yeah. I have a feeling its the same way here but with super-fancy English.

I've put examples of cute/funny/crazy signs that don't make sense into previous blog posts and I could show dozens more. See Coex Mall for some real doozies. Here's another one:

This was taken literally one block from the entrance to the Army base. Ask anyone going in or coming out, is this correct? Not quite.

Here is a collection of a curious theme I've noticed...

The Story of Best Coffee

Story Way (convenience store)

Glass Story (for eyeglasses, not windows)

Gag Story (another convenience store)

Story of cell phone covers?

Trash Story (Photo: courtesy of Marc)

Rice Story Cafe

Funny Design Story. I'm sure it's hilarious.

Natural Story from Korea (skin care shop)

Story Shoe. There is probably a Shoe Story somewhere, too.

...and finally, The Story. Of what, I really can't say.

I'd love to know how this "Story" thing started! Any guesses? 

Attention Koreans! I will help you with syntax and semantics prior to printing***FREE OF CHARGE!***
I have to admit, the "incorrectness" of it all is sweet, endearing, and, let's face it, pretty darn entertaining.

You're cute, Korea.